Thursday, April 8, 2021

Getting through the inner screams into a state of calm

I wish it was always a positive narrative.

But Some moments like this very moment i was originally writing this next part,

Thise momentz Where i have concentrate hard to try to will my being back into a state of calmness even even though every ounce of the hurting parts of me wants to scream and scream until i habe no more scream left in me, even though it feels like there is an infinite supply of the scream inside of me...

Memory loss in itself is not a problem..   but when the person with the memory loss believes they can never do any wrong and the other person is always at fault and can never possibly be right.. 

when the person with the memory loss accuses the person with the memory of lying  bc they cannot remember (or have made up memories to replace the ones that do not exist).. 


Of not understanding bc the person with memory problems has a different understanding based on a much more narrower set of facts, usualy often completely erroneous facts bc they have no memory of what actually happened and couldnt possibly have done what the people with memory claim to have happened.

To be told over and over again that my own memories (even though they are backed up by video and audio recordings just to be sure) are wromg over over again, sometimes i even start to doubt myself.. ie why i record EVERYthing now. So i have can proof of my own brain and what it knows or doesnt know.

Thank goodness kiddo is around or i dont think i would have made ir through without ending up in an insane asylum..

Bc around about at this moment i was writing kiddo comes in to the bedroom where i am hiding in bed wrting this and asks to find out first hand what actually happened and sees that i am about to burst into tears and he reaches out and holds me while i release into tears
And he keeps holding me until the silent screams and tears have completely emptied and flowed themselves out and  long after the shuddering has subsided and when he realizes i am finally able to speak he asks me simple yes no questions until i am able to dialogue and explain more fully.

And some how my center is slowly regained..

Although i suspect my blood chemistry is still off kilter so he gets me some nigella seeds and chamomile tea to help my blood chemistry to get back to a state of more calmness. 

And maybe writing here will also help?

I wonder, does my sharing my writing ever help anyone else?


Friday, March 19, 2021


 i enjoy the feeling of connection...

having my own mind be heard and understood and appreciated.

being able to hear other people's minds and getting to understand and appreciate them.

okay, that's only true half the time.. there are exceptions from time to time when I have things i want to get done which need my energy or concentration. --- Which depending on the topic of a conversation,  I can be kind of wiped afterwards and then have to have time to recenter and reboot before i can even attempt to get anything done again.

  Esp when you are caring with someone with a touch of dimensia..  one get's to know the basics of their  brains pretty dam fast,  esp when their limited number of stories start to go on repeat but it's still always the first time for them... ..  kiddo and I still listen in and make a digital memory of it all for prosperity.. because sometimes, on the sweetest of occasions, we get to hear a bit of history we didn't yet know about.  those are treasured moments.  and then also super aggravating when the tech doesn't work and the story gets lost bc the chances of them repeating one of those rarer story gems, are well, not high.. 

   though these days, sometimes it seems like some stories are getting combined in interesting ways... which actually makes it more fascinating for us though.. or when we can get them to tell us their history in their native tongue. then we could listen for hours quite delightfully.  :D    

Saturday, February 6, 2021

the misunderstood pack rat part 1

I once watched a video on understanding packrats, and it tasked about how they loved trash bc they had once credit like they were trash or like they had been treated like trash or has been thrown away like trash
And I really wondered if  that did actually apply to me
Bc my own ex after 20 years of acceptance one day stopped accepting me and loathed and feared the idea of helping me to feel any sort of happiness or quote "doing anything to enable me" to help be in this world & still appear halfway functional.
I had OCD & anxiety all my life, but one day he decided he decided I was "diseased" and unless I changed instantly he was going to leave me.  
Six months to organize the house was too long..
But the truth was he wanted to leave & go to another state anyways & he knew I didn't want to so he needed a way to for his mind to find it acceptable
And so he created a bunch of lies to tell himself mixed in with the truths so he accept his decision.
I do actually empathize & understand where he was coming from. He had been fired from his other job and he was feeling out of control and feeling helpless & confused and he just wanted to be able to control his environment and have some semblance of control of the people inside it.. And well kiddo and I made that extremely difficult..
Esp bc he had super poor communication. and kiddo and I were the kind of people who didn't tend to take demand very well and didn't tend to accept direction unless we understood the why and didn't tend to be the best mindreaders in the world esp when we were feeling mentally, emotionall, and psychologicay attacked and even physically unsafe at the time.
Now don't get me wrong .. On a normal day that man w as an amazing family man more accepting and tolerant then most.. But his mind was just going through a massive self torture & upheaval at the time bc his identity and life revolved around his ability to work and be the best at his work and be needed and here he was having his whole world turned upside down. 
His solution was to get rid of the old life and start anew.
Leaving everything behind except his most valued musical instruments & some "essential clothing".. Only that which was most dear to him and which he couldn't bear to be parted with.
But what really bothered kiddo was how he had labeled us, most esp how he had 
treated me on his way out.
Like a biohazard waste .  kind of like how I imagine lepers were treated.

But even before that point, I had started an appreciation of that which others would have thrown out but which was still useful.
It was torture watching friends and acquaintances getting divorced left and right bc they thought their spouses were incompetent and they wanted the a newer better model.

And people's disregard for what was broken but still useable appalled me.

I will have to keep writing more later. I am tired now.
1010am Saturday Feb 1 2021

But before I go, I just wanted to add in how even though I loved the trash I also had a deep need for organization & truth be told a certain amount of neatness with everything having Its place.   And the other way I could handle any sort of change to where things were to where their new location was by using photography and videoing of amything to document the before middle and after.
This was probably what bothered my ex the most bc this part waa tedious and not time efficient.
I do not know if this true for all packrat but something I could not handle was anything happening too fast.
Quick sudden rushed pressure -- impatience of any kind 

My bet is that if you understand that most about packrat, that us probably what will help you the most.
An offer to help clean will usually be taken as a threat bc they know you will want to clean faster then they are comfortable with.
So never never offer to help clean
Or maybe you could look at it as 
Never threaten to clean bc that is how it will be perceived as. -- a threat.

You can offer to help be their hands and feet in any task they want done ( do you hear the difference in wording?) 

but not to try to do it your own way or to take over.l (that would be perceived as a threat)

In the end, its a control issue.
And also an acceptance & appreciation issue.
An allowing a person to celebrate who & how they are and appreciating their own order and appreciation and need to feel in control of their own environment.

I Hope this helps some?

This post will probably get changed and reddited over time.

I fear posting blogs about this bc I had a tremendous fear of my ex wanting to hurt us more bc I fear his blaming me for his pain and hurt and his desire to want us to hurt bc of his pain.
I want him to feel compassion for himself and for us.

I want you to feel compassion for your fellow human being.

I want to feel acceptance and tolwrance

And allowance

For your fellow beings & for all lifeforms.
All beings.

All entities 

All forms of conciousness.


Tuesday, September 15, 2020

It is IMPOSSIBLE to be born alone.

Even if there is no God,, it is literally impossible to be born alone!!!

And whowver says that you are born alone either is just blindly quoting some inaccurate stupid quote, is completely ignorant to the prescense of the mothers energy, or completely unaware and unappreciative of the mothers prescense..

And in todays world, for many people, thwre is also rhe company of all the doctors and nurses and people nearby awaiting eagerly the birth.

So one doesnt have to die alone either!!!

And if you are a spiritual person or religious person in any sense of the word, it is even more offensive and unappreciative to believe that anyone could possibly ever be alone at ANY point in their life,whether its at the beginning, middle, or end.

Bc you ALWAYS have company with you.  Your own higher self of nothing else.

No single person has only one personality.   If they did, it means they never had any thoughts ..

And even if you dont believe in god or psychology, there is the fact that your body is NOT only made of your own dna but also the millions of dna of all the million of microbiota that make up anpart of your body in your intensitines, on your skin, in your mouth, in your body. 

If you count microbiota, Your body alone is actually composed of millions of other life forms other then your own.
Your body is a whoe ecosystem of life.

Therefore your DNA, your core self is NEVER alone.  You always have rhe company of all the many parts of your ego, your microbiota with its own essenses along with all the energies that have ever crossed paths with you mjxed up and combined with your own energy!!

In fact, spiritually AND physically, it is IMpossible to actually ever feel lonely if you have any sense of awareness whatsoever!

Ok so maybe you might be missing rhe physical touch of another human being or mammal from time to time in your life.  If so, start volunteering!!!

But never never say people are born alone bc that is the biggest lie/myth/falsehood ever created by some ignorant unaware slefish,  selfish unappreciative being!!!

You are never alone..

We are all connected!!!

Just your even have read this just connected us..  or even if you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who read this, we are still connected by these words.

Look for the ways you are connected..
If you live on rhe same planet, connect
by this earth, if you are human, by our human dna.  I challenge you to come up with at least ten different ways you are connected to at least ten different people!!

And then when you are done i challenge you to find ten different families(or nonprofits if you hate people) in need of financial support or encouragement and give each of them a dollar each month.

Need help finding people.
Go to to find us

Or find another person on Patreon.
Or Gofundme

If you are on facebook,

make sure you are subscribed to


Written Sept 15,2020 945am on my old barely working but still ticking samsung s111

Sunday, July 5, 2020

You have won the lottery. What is the first thing you are going to do?

I realized the other day that for us the VERY first thing is GET SOME DECENT RECORDING EQUIPMENT! !!
Before doing anything else,  we really wants some special phones that have wil jave the abolity to go 12 hours while on videoing WITHOUT overheating, with the battery still working after 2 hrs being on, with enough storage space to keep it all until we get somewhere where it can all get uploaded and where it is EASILY uploaded up to the cloud.

Do such phones exist? Will you get us three no make that four of them?

Also a bunch of motion sensor camera for the front yard as well.
Why not the back yard.bc we want to be able to walk around in our back yard however we are without being "on camera".. even though we take five billion photos of everything our eyes see, we dont always want to be ON camera ourselves.

Oh i supose i wouldnt have a problem with it --  if our society didnt , but our world is not ok with people  "in the raw".

Why cameras?

Bc what we have learned after working with so many people with memory problems and with just life itself -- is that if life isnt recorded in SOME form or another whether its a photpgrpah,  a painting (think cabe aer i mean cave art), carvings, (think rosetta stone and cuniform) think fossils, think soul samples showing the history of geology or archeology. . Then if it wasnt recorded, ir might as well never have happened.  People need proof. 
True what we record might all still get lost like the ten years worth of journals my mom accidentally destoryed by leaving my voc out in the rain out accidentaly one year many years ago.
Or if an emp happens or if somethibg wipes  it all out.
I do get how fragile life is.
But by making the effort, at least there is a chance something of that moment will get to be trrasured by another.
My ex ddint let us have access to the first ten years of photos and records  of my sons life and he much to my sadness iwonder if he kept any of it :/
And it breaks my heart that he erased any of it
BUT we do have one small video of kiddo when he was three and i treasure that video. That moment and wish we had capturedso many kore to share with the world.

Sigh bc his life..his conversations thos early years was worrh sharing with you.

Alas i dont know if we will ever be able to.

But maybe if we have the recorders on now.. even though we dont do much now worth sharing.. thwre might come a moment and itd be nice to have it ready.. bc we so enjoy sharing our thoughts and the beauty we see in the world with you.

The very next thing to do is make sure a trust get started to make sure our property can be saved and put into a trusr so we can make our dream for the property a reality.

Somewhere in there we make sure to make a faraday cage to protect the electronics that help us to function

and make sure we have the solar powered freezer/fridge/dehrdratpr/cooker/ for ourselves and our friends.

A solar powered cooler for the house.
A foot pedaled wasging machine would be nice as well.

Making sure we have at least a years sypply of toiletries, soaps, basic survava equiomemts that being withoit money and covid has taught us to how umpirtant to have just around the house is.

Get berries and fruit trees planted and greenhouse set up for exotic tropicals and food available for us and nwarby neighbors.

Once we are syre our famiky and friends are functional and secure shoukd anything worse happen

For example, make sure we get food forest with rabbits and chickens established.  And mini homes and storage set up.

Only THEN start paying off all our debts.

After debts are paid off.

Then set up funds so that taxes always get paid.

After that is all set up start paying off familys debts where they owe us instead but at a a MUCH lower almost non existent interest rate.

Then if anything leftover after all that then start investing an alll othe other ideas we want to invest in. :) and 1 are many of those jdeas. :)

531am july 4/5 2020

Will you tell me a little bit about you?

Id like to know a little bit more about you if i may.
Have you ever read marshalls book on nonviolent compassionate  communication?
Would you be willing to learn about cnvc?
Would you be willing to eat our strange cooking?
Would you be okay with having your life recorded?
Would you be willing to be okay with silence?
Would you be okay with. ..virtual
You know what.. 
I am too scared to connect. Never mind.
I am too scared.

Tuesday, June 16, 2020

i am a fountain of love, but that doesn't mean i want to be with you...

hi. this letter is to you.. i love you, btw. whoever you are.. whoever you may be.. whoever you are.. i know that you are me.. and that I am you. or something like that. i highly recommend watching the ONE video by kuzegerat.. Kiddo showed it to me and it surmised that concept pretty well. Here is a link to it. anyways.( by the way, ,i will say that word a LOT. get over it. or don't bother reading this book if you have a problem with it. I have a problem with it. but i want to write to you. and i use that word a lot. did you hear me say that I love you. yeah. i do. i don't know who you are that is reading this but i know you, at your core.. and I know that I love you. whether you are a hurting psychopath, an angry empath, just a bored passerby, a judgentmal mean person, or someone kind or loving and caring .. all of you.. i love you. but what does that mean... I suppose i should be worried what that might mean to you.. to me it's just a feeling.. passing through my essense of being from the universe out to you.. does it mean that i want to be with you? NO. In fact, I can honestly say, I think it's okay if we dont' ever meet.. if I don't ever hear back from you. well wait a minute.. what if you are some one that I am supposed to meet? or who would have helped me make my dreams come true. hmm, yes. but what if you are some scary stalker... what if you are someone who enjoys hurting people? who wants to hurt people.. what if you hurt people without even knowing that you do it. i am told that narcissists do that. have often wondered if I am a narcisst. when i ask that though i get informed if I have to ask then I probably am not. but i do know i am dam selfish. i do know i am a massive micro manager. I do know I want things a certain way. and don't do well when people don't let me have it that way.. its part of the big reason why i don't want to be with anyone other then my family. my family who accept me or who okay don't always accept me, but tolerate me someitmes.. and put up with me bc i am family and who can't just throw me away.when they are done with me or when I don't say or do or act or behave in a way that is wanted.or wished for. or maybe they try to, but at the end of the day.. biologically we still share the same dna. but wait a minute..its EASY to disown biological family. people do it everyday.. that doesn't seem to actually mean shit. sohmm i don't know. but despite it all. i love you... so get over it. what does that even mean?? okay i love you. i don't know what that means. i don't like you. idon't want to be with you. i probably don't even respect you. but i love you. okay. got it? yes got it. good. bye. i want to be special. i want to be important to you. i want you to care about my wellbeing and my needs. i want you to want to help me financially to make my dreams come true.. do you have a problem with that. so many people have a problem with that concept. so many people.. its ridiculous. the coldness. the "you go do it on your own" concept shutting people out i don't want to help you in that way philosophy. i dont' want you dependent on me or anyone else philosophy. whatever happened to the concept of takign care of women. oh right came at a price. a price women dont want to pay. yep.. none of us want ot pay the price. we all just want to be able to make money just by being alive .. existing just by being us. it really doesn't sound that unreasonable a request. actually if you think about it.. artists do just that.. they are themselves just doing what they do and love. thats what i want to do.. doing what i love to do.. and to just be.. and have whatever it is that i do be useful to you. somehow.. and loved and treasured and wanted and appreciated by you! dam it. dam it to all hell and heaven and back

Monday, April 27, 2020

The fragility of our lives

this morning considering i had shot up awake from a horrible nightmare which left me in a state of massive anxiety the rest of the morning about the future of my moms health bc her health is the only thing protectng the properties and my dreams right now bc if anything haopens to her before i have my life together,  we are screwed.  My dreams would be screwed.

All that i  want in life would no longer be possible unless somebody else stepped in to rescue my/our dreams. but i gotta admit,  frankly even though i am on a dating site,  I gotta be honest. 

The idea of becoming intimate with anyone is very unnerving to me.

Yes, I will be around whoever my family is around and i suppose that person one day has a chance with me, but i dont really want a life outside of my family and or my dream goal to save my familys property.

All i want in life right now is just to prevent my familys homes from getting sold off and torn down. 

All i want is just to be able to buy my sister out of her half of moms home and my ex out of his half of our home so i can put the homes into a trust that cant be touched by anyone so the homes and the stuff inside the homes can be salvaged as they are and so i can transform the gardens into the edible oasis of my dreams and have people be able to visit it and be inspired.

That alls i want right now... to be able to save the properties for my son and grandchikdren so i can be able to live out my life being with my family and transforming those very particular gardens.

But i am worried that i will be wasting your time if you are hoping for more from me.

Though i desperately want people who will help me protect the homes from people who wanted to sell it off the day until either my son or i one day msde income of our own and could then just buy every one out, i also dont want to be accused of wasting anyone's precious time. 

We do enjoy people who are willing to be freinds of the family but if you are imaging me being able to let down my shields enough to be like my old self, i am afraid it is going to be eons before i can do that even with close friends again.  

The hope is that if i ever one day feel like my dreams are safe then maybe id relax enoigh to let the world in but i honestly dont know when if ever that will ever happen again.

But would you be ok with a platonic business partnership or just a simple friendship?

April 27 2020
935am to 715pm

Wednesday, April 15, 2020

if I was a millionaire would I still try to connect to people

Is like to think so, though instead of asking for patrons I would be the patron, I would be the one providing internships and jobs.
id like to be the one who saves my family's properties and is the patron for other people.
To save my mothers and grandmothers propsrty and transform the gardens into edible oazsi.  

Dear lord, how do we make this happen?
Where all I have to do is exist and be alive to make that to come true - where we save the properties, the items within the properties, provide mom some happiness and where kiddo and I can design and be to our hearts content? 

Saturday, April 11, 2020

Would you rather $10,000 or $1200?

Wpuldnt you rather have $10,000 then $1,200????

be mimdful of the kind of people you vote for!!

If Bernie HAD been president in 2016, you just might have gotten $10,000 instead of $1200. 

But at least he got you the $1200 amd he had to fight hard to get.l that bc there were people on the senate who didnt even want to give you that.  :/

Give him more power by still gettimg more people to vote his name in still. His name is still on the ballots!!

Originally poated 3/30 update april 11.

Bernies name is still on ballot -- whixh is an opportunkty if you want to create a miracle

At least he left his name on the a ballot.  amd there is an opportunity here that everyone is missing That is important.

If he had not left his name on the ballot, THEN i would have been pissed off.

Though i understood why he made it official at first i thought his timing sucked abiut when he chose to make it official.
BUT Unofficially i guess half the world didnt notice he had already dropped out of the campaign part several weeks ago not too long after the corona virus hit.

  Not a single email from him asked for money for himself or his campaign and it was alll going only to charities. 

Personally i thought that was a much better way to go because i had been pissed at him this time around asking for money instead of doing what he did last time which was aksing for networking and free advertising.

  I still think that would have been smarter way to go this time and i had felt like he had had  sucky campaign managers this time around for nott doing what had gotten me to fall in love with him last time.

  I had been so pissed off this time around that at first i was not going to speak up about him in his favor at all this time around until i had heard about the green new deal. 

Only then did i decide to speak up more about that and him and then about medicare for all.

  But pojint was i liked how he had finally stoped unoffically campaigning for money and had started to let actions speak for.themselves. 

i was disappointed he had made it officially but i totally get it from his perspective..

it WAS interfering from what he was needing to do c he was having to soend too much time on rhe defensive instead of doing the offensive. Now he cam concentrate on the offensive. 

IF the people really want him in they COULD pull off a miracle of keeping all the biden voters home bc convincing them not worth voting since biden "already won" and having only bernie voters go vote ( and voila if biden didnt get a single more vote and only bernies votes came in they would pull of their miracle stunt. 

It IS certainly accomplishable...

but the only way its going to happen is if the people MAKE it happen instead of wallowing and not reacognizing the opportunity they have available to do now.

We now have an incredible opportunity folks.  Lets make it happen.

Monday, April 6, 2020

in response to being asked, 'who is to blame for the world the way it is now"

even though I think I know where you are trying to go with that question, I still am startled of your choice of wording of "who" mostly bc I do find 'blame' questions kind of funny bc there are always so so so MANY more factors involved that often don't get taken into account in those kinds of questions of "who", .... but also because one cannnot blame any one single person for that. .............Bernie certainly wasn't responsible for people losing jobs, but, BUT, now that the corona virus triggered a chain reaction of events that has led to a job loss situation, a situation that ended up happen a lot earlier then it was supposed to happen (ie, you do know that this job loss situation IS going to be happening again on a much more massive scale though probably at a slower rate (i hope) bc of the advances of technology and AI systems taking over peoples jobs faster then new ones can get created), but anyways going back to my point, POINT is, now that it has happened, Bernie has been fighting pretty dam hard to fight the current broken system in order to TRY to make sure people don't completely starve during the crisis. ............ Not sure if you knew this, but he has not asked for a single dime for his campaign anymore and has asked the people following him that if they can help out, not to help him, but to help those, instead, those who got caught unawares and unprepared with holding over until they can get back on their feet. ..... He has even stopped working on his campaign (even though he is still running so that people can have a person to vote for that cares more about them being able to fend for themselves, rather then be dependent on corporations (or the gov longterm), and he now spends all his energy in trying to make sure that people do not starve now that everything has happened. .................. But even before this all happened, for decades, he has been fighting the system to try to help people to be able to have less to worry about so that they COULD try to become more independent and less dependent on the government! LONG TERM .......... Bernie was the only candidate pushing for more localized food co-ops,, instead of people being dependent on the corporate chain food stores! ...... and for farmers to practice more regenerative farming practices like we like to promote in Permaculture, so that the lands were better able to sustain communities, ........and most especially even more so, doing what he could and can to try to push for it being legal everywehre for people to be able to farm their own urban places (bc sadly, there are many cities where it isn't legal.) ........ It is what his Green New Deal is all about- of giving back power to the people - to be able to sustain themselves, especially in situations like this, so that they wouldn't have to be dependent on corporations OR the government, I would have thought you would have been supporting that since that also seems to be your goal of wanting people to be able to take care of themselves. ............. But, he is also aware that until before the mass numbers of people can learn to do all that, they need to be able to survive, esp, the next few months, and NOT starve to death in the meantime, that is why he has been fighting so hard against the current government, ..........that if the gov is going to set it up so that jobs get taken away, then in the meantime, at least provide a way for them to survive until they are able to legally work again. and then be able to provide for themselves again LONGTERM, ....... and to stop being dependent and at the mercy of corporations that go against the philosophy of people care, earth care ,OR future care. .........He, Bernie, is the closest candidate that has been advocating and trying to find ways for the independent entrepeneuneur to be able to succeed against those massive corporations LongTerm!.. ..........longterm wanting to make it easier for the individual people and independent entrepreneurs to be able to have a fighting change........ for the small mom and pop stores that DO still care about their local communities and will care more about people care, earth care and future care

1147pm , not aug, not march,no now ti is april 6/7 2020

Sunday, April 5, 2020

Please please please read this article

Update the article is a little dated now but you should still get as many people votinf for bernies name on the ballot amd convince all the biden lovers to stay hoke and not vote now.

Friday, April 3, 2020

What Age shoukd kids have cell phones at

Kiddo has had his own cell phone from the beginning so we could fill it up with educational apps but it also didnt have a phone number attached to it until he was about 10 when we had to be apart more.

  If we had to be apart at an earlier age, i woupd have given him his own number even earlier on for safety reasons.

  BUT we always had a rule that he was no allowed to post on the internet or on the phone to anyone outside of us without showing us thr message first.

  One year when he was 11 or 12 i let up on that rule until I was furious to find one day that he had picked a rather rude fight with some rather mean people on one of the online games.  So he lost priveleges to that gane and once again i became hard core that he couldnt send any messages out unless preapproved.

  But slowly over time, i realized he had learned his lesson and that he was being mindful and most times i only glance long enough to tell its some technical jardin that is over my head anyways or just let him tell me with half an ear open to listen for any red flags. 

Point is as long as you are checking, ANY age works.

  its better for them to learn early how to handle 'online' etiquette through you then learn the hard way as a teenager or as an adult.

You can always put a limit on internet time or youtibe restrictions or even text restrictions and what numbers they can call or just not even give them a number at all. Whike still having access to educational apps.

Just CHECK the phone daily or at least biweekly to make sure they havent hacked your system or loaded up inaprropriaye things.

And if they did, instead of going balistic, Discuss with them WHY..

use it to teach them the etiquette you want them to learn and follow

In response to friend asking at what age should kids have access to cell phones.

April 02 2020 not 2018 anymore.

Monday, March 30, 2020

An interesting conversations with someone on a dating site about "knowledge... "

I thought id share part of an interesting convwrsation i had with someone on a  dating site that emcouraged arrangements.. not that i have ever foujd someone that i actually ever wanted to make an arrangememt with but it does remind me of how the humbleness of human nature so i stay on there as a reminder to be humble and ever so grateful for what we do have in our life.:

I womt publish his profile but will let you know that he asked the reader to answer what two times four is at the end of his lengthy but interesting profile.


Here was my response:

The answer is 42 (just kidding, inside joke btween my son and I unless you have read 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Universe'

To your particular question: eight (it would be kind of neat if you put a trick riddle on there, like "how much does a Lb of feathers weigh?" Or something fun like that. ;)

Well lets see how to prove not a catfish? Send you to a silly video we made and put up on youtube? Hm, conversation over phone?

I am a little bit disappointed you would not accept a platonic arrangement, even if the arrangement did not involve any money transactions at all unless you just became fond of someone over time.

Knowledge is only half the battle.. implementing & remembering that knowledge in the heat lf the moment.. ahh now that takes practice i suppose?

I am interested in some of your knowledge.. though more to compare notes and seeing another perspective as i imagine some areas we might disagree.. i am fairly passionate about my own particular views about agriculture and some other areas you listed.

I dont know if i could get your needs met bc of the corona virus fesr of it affecting my mother and myself as i do not have health insurance, but id still be open to maybe finding some kind of connection if you were up for it.

You seem interesting to me, lol. :D

His response:

Thank you for the detailed info, you seem interesting as well however

a) knowledge is not free, this is why universities charge you with no employment guarantees and a shit load of other data that proves that its a scamm

b) the above in reply to PLATONIC

c) I dis agree re "knowledge is half the battle, its not, obviously if you have knowledge you have remembered what you have learned - unless you are suffering from a mental disorder causing you to have memory loss

d) I m not interested in helping anyone your age, its like swimming against the current, your stuck in your ways and established habits

This was my response back...( btw, id be curious to know you own take on the matter.  So encourage to put your own input in of who you agree or disagree with down below in the comments section below.)

My response:

A) if one is willimg to research and trade time for knowledge, there is a LOT of the same knowledge one gets from a university from books and online .. when kiddo was three and i needed a moment to myself, I used to sit him down in front of free online MIT physics lectures since at age three he was alreadys showing a high aptitude for science and he has already come across more historical knowledge then i ever came across in my 20 years of schooling. ... I even learned how to fix some of the plumbing in the house for free by willing to trade time and research. Yes it was a trade of time.. but i suppose it depends on how you define 'free'.. time itself is highly valuable...

B) I am not saying i only want platonic longterm though i admit the whole virus has heightened my fears.. .. but before the corona virus, I did find i am far more likely to be attracted to someone when nature is allowed to just takes its course rather then when i think sexuality is a requirement -- just to get to find out if I might even be attracted.
But just as i would want to be allowed to find out if chemistry developed on its own, I would offer the same back of not expecting an arrangement unless nature & chemistry eventually led us in that direction..

C) so i wish what you said was true for all the people i have observed learning and relearning.. even the super geniuses i grew up, when it came to understanding people, so often i observed as I watched them 'learn about people', i realized as i watched them, that learning wven for their mensa minds, seems to be more like a vortex.. as i watched them 'forget' and the relearn but with increased understanding and insight each time aroumd, climbing in awareness and a deeper comprehension of the knowledge each time around.
-- Just like learning to play the piano; Or take iceskating for example: Each time around a skater gets better but when they get tired they start to mess up more seeming like like they are forgetting what they have learmed but their mind just needed to need to rest but then when they start up again they learn quicker and faster.. same with learning a language.
.... Btw. I have worked with a handful of people with true memory loss.. and its a bit different and scarier watching them truly forget all that they know. esp as one watches them go from through the decline over years. (Shudder down my spine.. remembering for them, but watching their existence of all of their life slowly disappear forever)

D) i do know what you mean. aftwr 20 years of being discouraged from doing many basic tasks any normal functional adult should know , I am now a 40 something year old woman who is having to relearn how to drive and pay taxes and manage in the world just like how when I was 17 .. it basically feels like having to start over from the beginning, only this time having to overcome the fears and insecurities that have sneaked in over time and without the incredible bravado and hutzpah and naive confidence i once had and which i miss having .. and yes, i agree, it does feel like swimming against the current sometimes, often -- having to undo and break all those eatablished habits in order to reopen my mind so that i can get myswlf to believe again that anything is possible.. that anything can be ..
.... at first it really was like having been thrown into a twilight zone story and thrown into an ice cold shark infested water after having beem shattered into a million tiny pieces.. slowly taking those pieces and creating a beaitiful new art piece like one does with kintsugi. All while trying to learn how to swim as well.

but one benefit that has come from all the many profound experiences we have been having the last couple of years ... from one massive change to the next.. the ever increasing awareness of how the world is like an ameoba constantly changing shape and form...

and how we think today willl most likely not be how we will be thinking next month let alone a year from now.

The reason why i said knowledge is half the battle, btw, came from a quote my dad used to chant to me bavk when i first started having awareness of how my actions can affect others when i was a wee chikd first learning awareness of the world :: after watching anothwr child throw a tantrum and seeing how it affected everyone, suddenly awakened and realized that my own tantrums would be felt in a similar way as that other child. he had been so proud of me for finally having that awareness but he warned me in my childlike arrogance that having that awarenes was only half the battle.. And he was right.. just because i had knowledge of how my actions affected others, and then later learning skills to help center and ground myswlf and get to a compassionate empathetic state, it was only half the battle of learning.. the rest was learning how to apply alll that knowledge and actually putting it into practice ... knowing how to take a deep breath and look around and reach within for compassion doesnt do much good if I dont actually take a moment to actually practice taking that deep breath in, lol. And i am still learning the art of it. Sometimes failing miserably, other times mastering the art far superior to others.. but alway learning new insights and nuances and adapting..

Conclusion, even though you would not be interested in helping me financially.. perhaps an interesting conmection might still be allowed to evolve between us in these changing times..

That is, If you yourself are willimg to step outside of your own established ways and established 'habits' to explore with me both of us stepping outside of our normal way of life to hear other perspectives.. even if just but for a moment, lol.. ;)

"554pm march 30 2020"


The hidden oppprortunity bernie just gave us by not runming an active campaign anymore. You coukd make bernie win now if you wanted

Originally i had posted this article back in march sometime

BUT since he stopped campaigning i want to remind folks that this presents us with an amazing oportunity to still win by sneaking him in.

1) convince the biden lovers not neceasary to vote
2) remind bernie lovers to still vote

IF ONLY bernie lovers voted now then bernie could still win!!!

Scifi dream effects

So all my life i refused to watch those violent halloween horror films but i realized after the nightmare i woke up with just now this morning of a group of timw travelors who could never get back tp thwor own time line and unkverse and kept flipping into these scary universes where alien bugs were falling from the ceiling or jumping onto ones face that all those sci fi films with small but lasts in your head thought provoking scenese left just as horrible scary images in my head. 
From simple 'more innocent kid scifi shows like  like 'lost in space' or 'meninblack'to scifi thrillers like 'aliens', 'or one i acvidentay watched like 'sphere' of bw careful what you imagine bc it might become reality (thoigh even simple star trek had an episode like that), and the very few but horrifying lasting few episodes i accdentally watched of xfiles bc my ex loved it or twilight zone whixh my dad loved or other random shows i accidentally came across through other people..
One of the most lasting ones being some silly time travel show i watched with my family where the only scene i rememver was where the kid trys to stop his parents from opening the microwave bc of aome object in it which left me with nightmares for years..

It makes me wish i had never watched a single scifi movie ever growing up.

And instead watched lovely little things like watching liziqi utube videos. Not that such a thing existed when i was growing up.

But sadly i watched and filled my brain instead with way too many scifi shows and thrillers over the years.

Amd it can make for some very um scifi like nightmares when I am stressed. 

Now if i only i could make showcase my vivid sleep dreams and make some money off of them, lol.

If you liked me sharuming this with you maybe you could send my family and i a gift of $12 in the gift form of $1/month through

Thank you.

516am wokeup 445 am march 29/30 2020

Monday, March 23, 2020

do you want to put ON weight fast?

Do you want to put ON weight fast?

One) how fast is fast?

Two) curious to know why

Three) although if you look at my son and I right now you would probably question our ability to have knowledge about this ( um  i can tell you aboit two expwriences i have had to gain weight fast: one time putting on twenty pounds in 3 months ... the other time puttng on ten lbs .. but for me it was a protective layer of fat.

Though i also understand the concepts for putting on muscle weight as well.

  But niether of which i recommend for a grown male in Houston heat coming up.

one would not be healthy for your cardiovascular, the other runs the risk of gout.  

So again i would ask WHY you want to accomplish the change so fast? 

And that maybe that issue needs to be addressed.  

Note: i am not certified or licensed in anything.. only would be sharing knowledge from my own personal experiences.

But yes, i would be wanting compensation for my time and energy devoted to that.. esp during these scary times.

Contact me via facebook pages: ideas2thinkabout ,  ideas2explore, or bodylisteningworld

Or twitter: krineteagle

Or patreon page:

734am monday feb/march 22/23 2020


Saturday, March 14, 2020

"universal health care would actually save about $450 billion per year in health care costs."

See original article on newsweek.


By Jason Lemon

On 3/05/20 at 2:39 PM EST U.S.

A new analysis of the economic impact of a Medicare for All health care reform, like the signature policy proposal of Democratic presidential candidate Bernie Sanders, suggests that such a plan would not only increase wages for workers but also create additional jobs. Sanders, a progressive senator from Vermont who is currently a close second to former Vice President Joe Biden, the Democratic frontrunner, has long advocated for a universal or single-payer health care system. Critics argue that such a policy would lead to mass job loss and be an economic drain on the country, but the new analysis published Thursday by the Economic Policy Institute (EPI) suggests the opposite would happen.

Josh Bivens, EPI's director who conducted the study, wrote in the report that Medicare for All "would be unambiguously positive" for the labor market in the U.S., leading to a "boost in wages and salaries" as well as an "increase in job quality, while producing "a net increase in jobs."

Although the analysis notes that policymakers should not "ignore the distress caused by job transitions" due to such a health care reform, Bivens wrote that job losses during a transitional period would be "relatively small."

Senator Bernie Sanders (i-Vernont) speaks while introducing health care legislation titled the "Medicare for All Act of 2019," during a news conference on Capitol Hill on April 9, 2019 in Washington, D.C. MARK WILSON/GETTY "Despite the fact that M4A [Medicare for All] could deliver these large benefits to efficient labor market functioning, the policy often comes under fire from critics making highly exaggerated claims about the potential job loss that could occur under such a reform," Bivens noted.

"The grain of truth in some of the claims is that, like any productivity improvement, the adoption of a reform like M4A would require the redeployment of workers from one sector (the health insurance and medical billing complex) to other sectors (mostly the delivery of health care)," he wrote. "But there is little in the M4A-induced redeployment of workers that would greatly stress the American labor market over and above the uncertainty and churn that characterizes this labor market every year." Wendell Potter, a former health insurance vice president who left the industry and now advocates for health care reform, told Newsweek that the analysis undermines a key argument the private insurance industry uses to push back against Medicare for all. "It's a dark day for my old pals in the insurance industry because one of their few arguments for keeping the current system placing profits over care, is gone," Potter said. "On top of the obvious medical benefits, America's jobs outlook will improve under Medicare for All. The data proves it." Critics of Medicare for All, which was also endorsed by Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts, a former Democratic presidential candidate who suspended her presidential campaign on Thursday, have also repeatedly questioned how such a plan would be paid for. They've argued that it would be far too expensive and become a major drain on the federal budget.

But a study by researchers at Yale University, the University of Florida and the University of Maryland published in mid-February found that universal health care would actually save about $450 billion per year in health care costs. Additionally, it projected that a Medicare for All system would prevent at least 60,000 unnecessary deaths every year, as tens of millions of uninsured Americans would receive full health coverage under the system.

"Our study is actually conservative because it doesn't factor in the lives saved among underinsured Americans—which includes anyone who nominally has insurance but has postponed or foregone care because they couldn't afford the copays and deductibles," Alison Galvani, an author of that study, who is a researcher at the Center for Infectious Disease Modeling and Analysis at the Yale School of Public Health, told Newsweek last month.

Most Democratic voters appear to support a transition away from private insurance toward a universal health care system, according to exit polls conducted in the 18 states to have held primaries and caucuses so far in this election cycle.

A plurality of Democratic voters in all the states to have voted thus far have backed the idea of government insurance, while majorities of voters backed the policy idea in 16 states.

Biden supports more modest health care reform.

The former vice president has advocated for expanding the Affordable Care Act (ACA), known commonly as Obamacare, by making a Medicare buy-in option available to some Americans. His plan would allow private insurance to continue to compete alongside the government-run system.

RELATED STORIES Most Dem Voters in Super Tuesday States Support Universal Health Care Medicare for All Would Save $450 Billion Annually, New Study Shows Bernie Sanders Pulls out Costings for Medicare for All Study: Big Pharma Companies Earn More Profits Than Most Other Industries REQUEST REPRINT & LICENSING OR VIEW EDITORIAL GUIDELINES CHOOSE A MEMBERSHIP THAT'S PERFECT FOR YOU! PRINT & DIGITAL Weekly magazine, delivered Daily Newsletter Website access SUBSCRIBE PRINT ONLY Weekly magazine, delivered Daily Newsletter Website access SUBSCRIBE DIGITAL ONLY Free access to 40+ digital editions Website access Daily Newsletter SUBSCRIBE © Copyright 2020 NEWSWEEK

Funny that they never ask how we’ll pay for endless wars or bailouts, tax cuts, and subsidies for the top 1 percent.

POLITICS MEDIA CULTURE ECONOMY RIGHTS ENVIRONMENT HEALTH AD-FREE LOGIN Here are 6 ways to convert Bernie Sanders skeptics: Robert Reich Image via / Screengrab. Written by Robert Reich / Robert Reich's Blog March 5, 2020 After decisive victories in New Hampshire and Nevada, and a second place finish in South Carolina, Senator Bernie Sanders has emerged as the clear front runner. Right on cue, the establishment on both sides of the aisle has raised a four-alarm fire about Bernie’s electability and his chances against Trump. Here are 6 responses to these Bernie skeptics. 1. “America would never elect a socialist.”  P-l-e-a-s-e. America’s most successful and beloved government programs are social insurance – Social Security and Medicare. A highway is a shared social expenditure, as is the military and public parks and schools. The truth is we have already have socialism… for the rich (bailouts of Wall Street, subsidies for Big Ag and Big Pharma, monopolization by cable companies and giant health insurers, giant tax-deductible CEO bonuses) – all of which Bernie wants to end or prevent. And Bernie is not a socialist, he’s a Democratic Socialist, which is very different and very American. FDR was a democratic socialist, just not in name. Democratic socialism, as practiced in Europe, hinges on the same three core principles that used to be practiced in America, before big corporations undermined them – strong safety nets; public investment in healthcare, childcare, and education; and tough regulation of Big Business. 2. “He’d never beat Trump in the general election.” Wrong. The best way for Democrats to defeat Trump’s fake anti-establishment populism is with the real thing, coupled with an agenda of systemic reform. This is what Bernie Sanders offers, and it’s what the polls are reflecting. All of the pundits proclaiming that Bernie has no chance against Trump are using a political framework that may have been correct decades ago when America still had a growing middle class, but it’s obsolete today, as more and more Americans feel politically disempowered and economically insecure. The real political divide today isn’t left versus right. It’s democracy versus oligarchy. In the latest polling average from RealClearPolitics, Bernie beats Trump by the widest margin of all candidates. After his decisive victory in Nevada, a Morning Consult survey found that Democratic voters view Bernie as the best candidate to take on Trump. And recent polls show Bernie beating Trump in Michigan and Pennsylvania, two crucial battleground states Hillary Clinton lost to Trump in 2016. If you’re a moderate Democrat whose chief concern is beating Trump, Bernie is the clear choice. 3. “But how would he pay for it?” Nearly every time the media discusses Bernie’s transformative plans, they ask the same tired question: How will he pay for it? Funny that they never ask how we’ll pay for endless wars or bailouts, tax cuts, and subsidies for the top 1 percent. Nonetheless, Bernie’s campaign just released a detailed memo outlining how they plan to pay for his policy ideas. Take college for all and canceling student debt. Sanders will fund the $2.2 trillion proposals with a modest tax on the very Wall Street speculation that crashed our economy in 2008. 40 countries throughout the world have imposed a similar tax, including Britain, South Korea, Hong Kong, Brazil, Germany, France, Switzerland and China. Report Advertisement Sanders’s wealth tax would also go a long way toward paying for his other ambitious plans, like Medicare for All. Speaking of Medicare for All, it will leave us spending less over time. Single-payer systems in other rich nations have proven cheaper than private for-profit health insurers because they don’t spend huge sums on advertising, marketing, executive pay, and billing. Multiple studies have found that Medicare for All will save us billions in the long run, including a recent study which found that Bernie’s plan would save $458 billion annually and more than 68,500 lives every year. The nation already pays more for healthcare per person and has worse health outcomes than any other advanced country. Leaving our cruel, for-profit system in place will eventually become more expensive than implementing Medicare for All. At the end of the day, the question shouldn’t be how will we pay for it. As long as proposed spending will be less than the future costs of insufficient public investment in education, climate change, and inadequate healthcare, it makes logical sense to enact these plans. 4. “He couldn’t get any of his ideas implemented because Congress would reject them.” Report Advertisement First of all, Bernie has served on Capitol Hill for nearly 30 years – working across the aisle to advance a host of legislative priorities. He worked alongside Republican Senator John McCain to reform the veterans’ health care system, and has co-sponsored bills with Senator Mike Lee of Utah, one of the most conservatives members of Congress, to restrict executive war powers in Yemen and Iran. He’s stood staunchly behind his bold ideas while still delivering Democrats key legislative victories when his vote was sorely needed, like when he voted to pass the Affordable Care Act and Dodd-Frank. And here’s the most important reality of all: If Republicans maintain their majority in the Senate, no Democratic president will be able to get much legislation through Congress, and will have to rely instead on executive orders and regulations. But we have a better chance of flipping the Senate if Bernie’s political revolution continues to surge around America, bringing with it millions of young people and other first-time voters, and keeping them politically engaged. Report Advertisement 5. “He’s too old.”  Untrue. Have you seen how agile and forceful he is as he campaigns around the country? He bounced back with ten times the energy after he had a minor heart attack. These days, 70s are the new 60s. (Just look at me.) In any event, the issue isn’t age; it’s having the right values. FDR was paralyzed and JFK had Crohn’s disease, but they were great presidents because they fought adamantly for social and economic justice. Report Advertisement 6. “He can’t unite the Democratic Party.” Wrong. The establishment keeps mistakenly assuming that moderates appeal to a broader swath of the electorate. Their analysis is woefully out-of-touch, and they’re operating within an echo chamber with an outdated mental framework of how politics is supposed to work. As shown by his dominant win in Nevada, Bernie’s brand of populist politics unites people from all walks of life. He won with 29 percent of whites, 51 percent of Hispanics, and 27 percent of blacks, according to entrance polls of Democratic caucus-goers. He won a staggering 65 percent of caucus-goers under 30 years old, and he carried every other age group except for caucus-goers over 65. This is precisely the kind of multiracial, multi-generational coalition that is needed to defeat Trump in November. And as I mentioned, Bernie beats Trump in multiple polls by the widest margin of any of the candidates, including in key swing states. No other candidate has this kind of data to back up their electability case. The Democratic establishment is wrong to think Sanders is too liberal to win a general election. To the contrary, he’s the Democrats’ best shot at taking back the White House. Robert B. Reich is Chancellor’s Professor of Public Policy at the University of California at Berkeley and Senior Fellow at the Blum Center for Developing Economies. He served as Secretary of Labor in the Clinton administration, for which Time Magazine named him one of the ten most effective cabinet secretaries of the twentieth century. He has written 15 books, including the best sellers “Aftershock”, “The Work of Nations,” and”Beyond Outrage,” and, his most recent, “The Common Good.” He is also a founding editor of the American Prospect magazine, chairman of Common Cause, a member of the American Academy of Arts and Sciences, and co-creator of the award-winning documentary, “Inequality For All.” He’s also co-creator of the Netflix original documentary “Saving Capitalism.” Enjoy this piece? … then let us make a small request. AlterNet’s journalists work tirelessly to counter the traditional corporate media narrative. We’re here seven days a week, 365 days a year. And we’re proud to say that we’ve been bringing you the real, unfiltered news for 20 years—longer than any other progressive news site on the Internet. It’s through the generosity of our supporters that we’re able to share with you all the underreported news you need to know. Independent journalism is increasingly imperiled; ads alone can’t pay our bills. AlterNet counts on readers like you to support our coverage. Did you enjoy content from David Cay Johnston, Common Dreams, Raw Story and Robert Reich? Opinion from Salon and Jim Hightower? Analysis by The Conversation? Then join the hundreds of readers who have supported AlterNet this year. Every reader contribution, whatever the amount, makes a tremendous difference. Help ensure AlterNet remains independent long into the future. Support progressive journalism with a one-time contribution to AlterNet, or click here to become a subscriber. Thank you. Click here to donate by check. previous post Pence Press Secretary Katie Miller condescendingly blasts reporter for asking if uninsured can get tested for coronavirus next post Election Digest: Montana’s governor may run against GOP senator in a boon to Democrats TOP ARTICLES 1/5 Trump’s Google coronavirus website lie may be the ultimate in simply making stuff up FROM THE WEBPowered by ZergNet Radcliffe Makes The Admission We Basically Suspected All Along The Outrage Over Stephen King Is Growing Rapidly Melania Trump's Unearthed Magazine Cover Is Raising Eyebrows This Could Be the Real Reason Matthews Was Fired from MSNBC Rush Limbaugh Makes a Bold Claim About Coronavirus Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez's Transformation Is Turning Heads RELATED ARTICLES The Young Radical’s Guide May 1, 2000 The Carpool Lane May 3, 2000 Young, White and Criminal May 5, 2000 Sobriety High May 1, 2000 London Underground May 9, 2000 Beat the Statistics April 1, 2000 American Women Have a Long Way to Go April 26, 2000 Bullied: When Kids Confess Under Duress April 1, 2000 Dear Mr. President April 1, 2000 Jamie Morales Takes on AIDS April 1, 2000 The Young Radical’s Guide May 1, 2000 The Carpool Lane May 3, 2000 Young, White and Criminal May 5, 2000 Sobriety High May 1, 2000 London Underground May 9, 2000 Beat the Statistics April 1, 2000 American Women Have a Long Way to Go April 26, 2000 Bullied: When Kids Confess Under Duress April 1, 2000 Dear Mr. President April 1, 2000 Jamie Morales Takes on AIDS April 1, 2000 Ads by Revcontent Trending Now Truly Odd Women Who Really Exist - Must See to Believe Urologists Amazed: Forget the Blue Pill, This "Works" Even Better! 28 Bone Chilling Photos Everyone Should See Once Urologist Reveals: Men, Fix Your ED Easily by Doing This (Try Tonight) Drink This Before Bed, Watch Your Body Fat Melt Like Crazy Slot Machines Can Be Easy to Win (But Only if You Know This) Read Comments - Join the Discussion MOST POPULAR 1 Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez had a brilliant response to Warren’s refusal to endorse Sanders 2 Why Joe Biden is uniquely vulnerable to Trump 3 Trump’s Taliban deal falls apart — and Republicans are taking notice 4 How big will the coronavirus epidemic be? An epidemiologist shares his concerns 5 Paul Krugman: ‘Luridly delusional’ Trump apologists ‘can’t handle the truth’ on coronavirus 6 Blockbuster new book reveals Mick Mulvaney thought it was a good thing Donald Trump is mentally ill 7 White House press secretary screams at reporters to leave as Trump refuses to answer questions on coronavirus 8 Trump faces revolt from senior GOP officials over ‘incompetent’ handling of coronavirus crisis 9 ‘A five-alarm fire for Donald Trump’: Veteran reporter explains why Michigan primary is ‘really ominous’ for GOP 10 ‘Pence is lying’: Vice president’s coronavirus cleanup efforts backfire spectacularly Contact Advertise with AlterNet Privacy Policy Writer Guidelines Press Information About AlterNet Meet the AlterNet Staff @2020 - AlterNet Media Inc. All Rights Reserved.

Saturday, March 7, 2020

To be my own best friend

Not really a big fan of what is see on line
Or what i read in books
Or what i hear come out of peoples mouths
Its mkstly all just make believe
Made up to help a person to feel better about themselves
We want to connect to people to make ourselves feel better
But why not just connect to ourselves
Listen to our selves

Be our own best friends.
Try it out for a week.
Right to yourself for a week as if you are yiur own best friend amd most importsnt person in the world to connect to before you connect to anyone else. Or amything else.

Wednesday, March 4, 2020

please tell me your own personal obervati

Ok, so I have been hearing some rather disturbing rumors about Biden the last couple of weeks.  I do not have the time to fact check it but if it is true i am a little alarmed. The first is a possible list of items he may have done in the past that i was saddened by.. opposing gay marriages? trying to get rid of roe vs wade? Voting against protectimg students? Many instances of voting FOR WAR? Wants to get rid of the ss and medicare that the elderly are dependent on? Opposes any green initatives that care about the environment? Votes always in favor of the protection of the corporations over people?  In favor of both the death penalty AND mass incarcerations? Ok..  all those by themselves scare the crap out of me, BUT the rumor that realllllyy has me deeply questioning amd concerned about people voting for him is this rumor about dimentia?  Amd some of the examples being listed as proof are realllllllllly catching my eye as to how is nobody noticing these things if the examples are actually accurate.  Ok yes, i might be severly highly over sensitive to the topic after having had much much direct interaction with at least six different people who are or have suffered with various forms of dementia in various stages of their dementia over the last four years. Plus other cases a little more indirectly.  But Two of which greatly impacted both our life and our views about people, life existence, and the vulnerability and vagaries of the human brain..  Its not really the late stages where a person is resetting ever 30 seconds to evry four minutes that are scary and or dangerous bc by then they cant harm really harm anyone.. it is the middle to near early stages that can be the most most dangerous.   Bc to the avgerage person, they may seem perfectly normal.  BUT, bc of that they can make decisions that are not the best for other people.  One person we helped take care of used to be a doctor and bc noone knew at first just how bad his dimentia was, he got away with treating some clients in a not so safe way.  When he was caught, even thoigh his family wanted to keep him at home, the insurance company or maybe it was the doctors association said they would charge him unless he was locked away.  It was one of the saddest things to see bc at first glance or conversations he seems just like you or I.  But this is what alarms me....and this is what i am asking for YOUR OWN PERSONAL OBSERVATIONs about, i want people to share their OWN PERSONAL OBSERTIONS (IF they have actually been studying Biden OVER THE YEARS)  to please counter  thebMANY examples that random people who i dont have have been providing ...ALL of clips shown by themselves could have been faux pauxs BUT i have also seen people who wwre a lot further along then just the early early stages do suxh kinds of mistakes as well.  The first five or six times, i figured it must be some random hoax put out there by some disparaging folks who like to slander peoples names and that it couldnt possibly be real.. and each time i got angry about such an accusation even if i dont happen to like Bidens political views myself. But i didnt like how each instance on its very own seemed lile it was just some random accdiental faux paux which we are prone to do or capable of doing esp if we are very tired amd stressed , or not paying attentiom, or even if we havent eaten well and our blood sugars are low.  BY themselves, each of the incidents though startling, they could all be explaijed away.. so it angwred me that people would use these individual instances to put down a persons integrity, even if i am scared by their political views.   but people keep putting up more and more  of these individual one time "evidences" or "examples" and then people i dont know anything about also start comparing his speech patterns of today to earlier times and a continual seeing of this on different democratic feed is when big red flags start to go up in my eyes..
I admit I am far more inclined to care about such details bc of our wxperiences with people at all stages, BUT i am still really really confused how IF the examples are accurate, how could people in his party not be noticing..or are they noticing but just cant do anything about it now and just keep hoping that noone else will take any of the allegations seriously.   BUT IF the allegationns have no truth at all, then it also deeply alarms me that that kind of slander would even be put out there it the first place.   Bc its a BIG deal.

   So please, if you happen to know of an example please do not quote me somethng you have heard someone else say bc that doesnt help me confirm or unconfirm my fears.
  And please on the countwrside, Please please dont just tell me its all hogwash made up bc i wouldnt be on here asking about this if that thought alonewas enough -- bc i alrwady had that thought.  and already got angry about the idea of people poating that kind of lie up about anyone!!
What I need is to to know if any friends WITH their OWN personal ears, who actually LISTEN to Biden on a regualr basis, have actually noticed anythig different or off compared to how he spoke say oh maybe five years back.
The examples amd symptoms and details  people on interntet have provided so far show that it probaly started ever so subtly about a year or so back in a way which was probanly not noticable at all. BUT I really cant trust what i randomly hear on the internet bc i still think its gotta be some awful kind of disparaging thats been put into motion.  So please do NOT just simply provide your own opinion.. that doesnt help me. I need your own obervations, not your opinions.

So please IF you have been listening to Biden over the years and like listenimg to him, and if you have a way of comparing say five years bavk to recent speeches will you peronally either reassure me OR let me know your own personal observations so I dont have to just have what is being placed in my news feeds or internet algorythems, Id really appreciate it?  Thank you Biden fans for reassuringme at least on that front. Even if i am going to still be terrified about his views about prochoice, marriages, education, healthcare, war, prisons, corporations, and environment, i would like to have one less thing to be scared about. 
But IF others actually have also been noticing it, then people voting need to consider this.. bc if it is true, then even if you domt want healthcare for everyome, or someone who care about the enivornment, or someome who wants peace over war or someone who wants people to matter over corporations, could you at least be doubke sure Biden wont be depemdent on his VP please? Or womt acvidentally lead.our nation to war or detriment on a 'bad day'?  Please just double check for me please before you vote away..thats  i please ask, please doubke check your own obervations please and please let me know your own obervations... thank you.  Much obliged.

1:05 pm Feb no  March 4, 2020

Monday, March 2, 2020

If you had wanted Warren to win this is how it should have been done.

I very much agree with you.  So I've been thinking about what the voting result might be if we did this ranked voting system that I have been hearing about recently. I didnt really understand it for ahwile but Michael Bell Ruvinsky​​ gave me this link and it helped me understand a little bit better.  But then once i did understand it better i had to laugh bc I realized after reading through tons of posts and comments the last couple of days if we had had this ranked system, the voting outlook would loook oh so very different then it does right now.  The reason why I say this is because I encountered many people who would be okay with Warren from  ALL sides and from all candidate lovers but ONLY begrudgingly only if they could pick her as their SECOND choice, not their first choice..   But IF voting was done like mentiomed like it says in this article,   then Warren would not only have a chance but would accidentally win.  Some of those who wanted Biden would tolerate Warren but not Bernie and some who wanted Bernie would tolerate Warren but not Biden.   Some who want Warren would tolerate Bernie but not Biden. And vice versa.

so all three candidates followers would put Warren down but only ONE of the other choices.  Lol.    So if done with system Warren would accidentally win.

Another thing about this ranked voting system that I have been thinking   -- even though it would mean my favorote candidate might not win, i am betting that if we had this type of voting system there might be a lot less vitriol maybe? 

Maybe there might be a little less fear about it all?

Anyone else have amy thoughts or feeling about this type of voting system?

Would you like to see be put into place here for the preseidential voting system?

If it would make people more amicable towards each other, then I would definitely like to see it happen

.  Ok curious to know how yall feel about changing our voting system to this:

Let me know in the comments below please.  Thank yall.

Feb 28 no march 2 634pm


How to Prevent a Repeat of 2016

sorry i need this to be long to explain why i think this way.   3 values i really care about are earth care, human care, and future care.  And although I suppose all the cadidates strive to achieve that each in their own way, Bernie is the 1st candidate ever to most closely match my views & who literally inspired me to even have enough hope to get involved & even be willing to donate money to (not that i was able to donate more then a few dollars to). My sister proved to me how Warren had been similar & if we had ranked voting, i might have vote second place for her but even if she hadnt done some things that deeply bothered me, i stilll would have picked Bernie 1) bc he has passed more bills then any of the other candidate but 2) also has most consistently fought for what i care about.  On top of that, i am deeply in awe how he 3) has managed to earn a world record of donations WITHOUT the help of a superpac and with just small donations of roughky $21 dollars at a time.  This shows me that people are more passionate about him then any other candidate in history.  But that passion also leaves me teriffied of having a repeat  of what happened in 2016 when people blamed corruption, lies and sabatoged voting as the reason why he didnt win. Peoole were so uoset that they literally LET Trump win.
And i deeply fear that happening again esp since i have already seen the 1st signs of surprise closures in SC in areas that the Bernie crowds are already massively uproaring in fury about and now in Texas, there are rumours of it happening again. I fear how passionate people will revolt if they feel helpless enough and i get the sense that most people voting for Bernie feel very helpless indeed and dont feel like they have much to lose since they already have so little.  I do have a lot to lose if but never before have i seen a candidate who has gotten peope ro be as a passionate as Bernies followers and that gives me hope. He is also the only one a know who wants to encoursge victory gardend and making sure the farming industry starts considering using more sustainable and even regenerative practices, the topic of food waste which I think is a big factor of why so many people go hungry bc we have the food resources but its not getting to those in need.  His new green deal offers me hope. Also the only way i will ever have a chance of having medical care ever is if Bernie wins. Without him, i deepy fear a repeat of 2016 will occur bc the people bc i really believe the reason why Trump won was bc of how much apathy was caused by how helpless people who had wanted Bernie before felt. And now even more people want Bernie and given far more of themswlves to try to help him win. He appeals to the masses who are struggling and have no other hope left.

Tuesday, February 25, 2020

Here is Why Bernie WILL WIN all the SWING STATES!

Bernie Will get the Swing States bc he will get all those NEW folks from 2016 who came out to vote for him in the primaries of 2016 but who then latwr  refused to vote in the general election bc hilary won.  Those are the votes you need. The peopl who had been inspired to vote for Bernie Only but refused to vote for anyone else.  He has far more followers that are even more passionate for him then Trump and we need that passion and ferocity is what ensure the swing states by a LANDSLIDE!

GET UP AND Vote Bernie.

Make sure Bernie Wins!!

Feb 24 2020 7:19am

Bernie Bellowers GIVE this!!

We need that fevror that Bernies Supporters Brings in order to win against Trump. 
Even if Bernies solutions arent teneable to you, they are a far cry Better then having Trump.
At least Bernie will have the support of everyone against trump and  all the resources of all the democrats.   If 2016 showed us anything, that a large portion of Bernie supporters will ONLY get up to vote for "ONLY Bernie". We need the support of those "Only Bernie" voters in order to win against Trump, in order to prevent another 2016 fiasco. Even if you dont like Bernies supporters bellowing.. its that bellowing and the passion behind it that will ensure Bernie winning against Trump.  If you take their candidate away, yes you would take the air out of their bellowing. But they also would be so sunk and demoralized that 2016 would happen again.  We NEED their support and energy and fevror and bellowing right now to at least halt Trump.  Then next time get another dem you like.  Or maybe make sure sure he has a VP that you do like?

Make Sure Bernie Wins!!

Drive folks to the Voting Offices!!

Feb 24 2019 7:21am


Here is the thing folks and something to keep in mind. In this post alone I have heard anti bernie folks say that yes if we won they would stil vote for him even though he wasnt their top choice.  So IF Bernie won then you not only have his die hard fans but also ALL the rest of the democratic party supporting him bc he isnt Trump.   But here is what you reallllllllly need to keep in mind.  I REALLY think one of the biggest reasons why Trump won is bc enough of Bernie Die Hard fans last time were NOT willing to vote for someone they just didnt believe in and would rather watch the system get messed up by Trump then vote for someonr they just didjt beleive in.  Ie why nearly 50 % of the nation just didnt vote at all. i know sooooooo many People who dont believe in the system and who simply will not vote [will not vote] UNLESS Bernie wins.  BUT they will get up to vote ONLY if Bernie wins.  So, if Bernie wins, you GAIN all the people who just stoped caring bc they think there is no more hope bc the system is tpp corrupt to care about them.  If Bernie DOES win, then not only do you get the normal democratic votes, then you ALSO get the votes of the folks whom Bernie actually gives hope to for the first time. BeRnie would actually get double make that TRIPLE the votes of a "normal" democratic nominee.  Without Bernie, you only get pure democratic and a few people who are scared of Trump. Like what happened with Hilary.
  But WITH BERNIE, you get all those who had voted for Hilary or any whoever democrstic just to vote dem PLUS folks who are scared of Trump PLUS ALLLLLL the Bernie Die Hard Fans PLUS a LOT a LOT of previous nonvoters.   Only Bernie has a chance of bringing in those who are disfranchised. Only Bernie will be able to bring in enough of  those voters who are so pissed off by the corruption that they refused to vote before. it was the loss ofTHOSE voters that allowed Trump in.   
Its the typical NON voter that the nation needs to be concerned about.  And from what i saw in the last election.  Minus a few folks who are scared of Trump, you can be guaranteed that UNLESS Bernie wins, there is a very high likelyhood that the same thing will happen again, Trumps followers will find a way unless Bernie gets in to get the voters who otherwise would never get off their chairs to vote
i really firmly believe knowing what i know about WHY folks did not vote for Hilary last time, that the only way to make a landslide surity for Trump to Lose is to make sure Bernie Wins.
Bc BERNIE would have TRIPLE the support of any normal democratic person. 
Regular dems + trump haters + people whom he gives hope to + the thosands of die hard fans who simply willl NOT vote for any other candidate other then him bc they will be too pissed off by the system if he doesnt win this time. 

Soooo many people bothe independants and nonvoters i know will just do like they did last time who simply refuse to vote democratic or vote at all unless  BERNIE WINS.

  Those are the votes you will need if you really want to assure Trump gets out. And that idea was proven in that 2016 election.  

This time you might have a few who will vote dem bc they fear Trump.  But you need Bernie To prevent what happened in 2016 to happen again!
i really firmly believe the only way that is possible is to ensure Bernie actually wins this time.  You are going to need the support from the nonvoters that Only Bernie was able to bring out last time at the primaries.  Do remember how many extra voters Bernie brought out to the primaries last time.  Amd i have heard that he also made a world record of having the first three states win by a landlside in popular vote this time too!

.  I know wayyyyyyy toooo many nonvoters who WILL vote, but ONLY if someine like Bernie wins.  And Those are the Votes the democrats need if they want to ensure Trump Loses.
You need those folks who wouldnt usually vote but who will GET UP AND VOTE for BERNIE ONLY.

  You need those folks who were too pissed off to vote in 2016.  And those people will be even more pissed off this time if Bernie doesnt win again. They threw a tantrum in 2016 and refuwed to vote for Hilary bc we didnt listen to them then.

We cant risk 'not listening' to them again. Our environment cant risk it.

We need to listen to the hearts of those who let trump in bc they didnt get heard in 2016. Let them have their candidate of choice of the only person they will actually get up off their chairs to vote for. Bernie is the Only Chance you folks of gwtting THOSE votes. Amd those are the votes YOU NEED to win againat Trump. You need the people who will ONLY Vote for Bernie.

Ensure Bernie Gets In!!!

636 638am feb 25 2018

Wednesday, January 15, 2020

Do you know of a dash cam that has these features under$100?

**Infrared for night so it can actually read license plates and see

*160`  heat tolerant (NO over-heating)

*Wide angle view

*Low resolution unless G sensor regisyers accident then high resolution so it can record license plates

*Inside car low res while Outside car has higher res

*can allow Locking only 30 sec to one to two mins at time..  where lock doesnt hsve to be a whole fiv min long but has ability to lock longer as well.

****allows snapshots

**TIMELAPSE feature!!

*360 view? All four sides of car?

*High storage abilities

*Internet wifi abilities

*Doesnt drain car battery when car is off

I will add to this list as i come across items that matter to me..

Tuesday, January 14, 2020

call, invite, explain, ask, say it, state it, ask for it, tell it.

  • Whittlesey Karinita the answer 'why' is usually 'fear'. .... though sometimes but another answer is because of a "need for patience in life".. bc life, though simple, is in fact also beautifully intricate (not sure if i would use the word 'complicated"... but sometimes when one "allows an idea" to come to life instead of "acting on an idea" allowing oneself to just sit back and be 'with patience' sometimes ideas more easily happen. .. because sometimes, sometimes, people are not ready for certain ideas, or statements or questions.. often when I encounter people flooded by certain beliefs or emotions or perspective, i have oftn slowly learned that sometimes with a little bit of patience on my part to wait till a person is ready to receive a thought or information or an explanation -- sometimes waiting until the other person is open or sometimes waiting until I know a different way of approaching an idea. .. although I can think of many almost countless times I have learned and relearned this lesson and observed this, i will give a recent example from this fall: late last year I had an experience of a concept I wanted to share with my mother and for weeks I kept repeating an explanation of the concept to her and for months, I got nowhere until finally one day, I stopped repeating the same words and the same request and gave myself time to be patient and not ask and not explain and stopped trying to be understood and stopped trying to ask, and simply waited and i allowed a quiet patience to flow through, i finally figured out a way to help her understand what she had wanted understanding about and had at least gotten some of my own needs met for being understood a little better, at least on that particular idea... but even outside this example, often I have seen in life, times when I wanted something or asked for something, knowing it was not the right time, later when I had allowed the idea or concept to go dormant for awhile, life just sort of allowed it to grow more naturally and life flowed more naturally towards that idea on its own. then again, if i hadnt spoken up in the first place, maybe the seed might not have been planted to begin with.. so i guess that goes full circle to the quote of the importance of "yep, speak up now to at least get the growth cycle started.". even if it is years before one sees the actual seed sprout. , lol.