so if you are tempted to want to be with us, you should be warned that this is what we are considered to be like,

so if you are ever tempted to want to be with us, you should be warned that this is what we are considered to be like, 

It is in our best interest if you read this ahead of time BEFORE hand so you can know ahead of time weight not be the best choice for you .. so that way we don't get our hopes up just to have them dashed again when you figure this all out for yourself. 

So please read if you get tempted to make us think we are safe around you.  

Bc we will not consider you safe if you are going to be asking us to change who we are for you as a condition for your being around us. 

Just don't ask to be around us in the first place if you are going to be like that ..

Draft 5 to share on the blog (plus the draft responses to someones requests and conditions for their help...)

But first the blogpost:::

To all the wonderful strangers on here who don't yet know about me, 

I am glad you have not yet learned about all my millions of quirks yet that you have yet to critique criticize or judged or ask me to change just yet...

 It makes it so much easier both to receive your love and hugs and to give out my own love as well. 

I often have an excess of love --- at least on a good day - that I like to spread it out amongst my friends so no one entity or myself gets to overwhelmed by its focus.. Lol..

Big hug and toast to all who have to judge another person's actions  as of yet and who allow us to be who and how we are as well. Yummmmmmmmmquuuiiisshhhhhh! Bprrrrruyuummmmmmmmmmn!

Lol ..but for the folks who think they will always let me be who I am, 

 Here is the list of some the quirks about me that if you got close to me i would run the risk of your asking me to change about myself at some point...

1) Being with me can be  quote like "being on a roller coaster." 

One minute i will leave you feeling like you are the most amazing thing in the world, but if you ask me to change or be different than i am or act even in the smallest tiniest even most infintiismle bit of impatience with me or puts pressure on me in even thr slightest way or if i feel threatened with the belief that you will be asking me to change something in my world or about myself .. Well Lol.  

The trick is to never see anything I do as a waste of time or to judge it any way as to be unhealthy or wrong or bad.  

How I am is just different than how you do things.

Also nothing I do is a waste of time if you understand what exactly it is that I actually value 

Just have remember, that I deeply value different things than you do!

But if you threaten what I value in any way, shape, or form or way, you should also know I have also been told I am like a quote "double edge sword"..  

To protect yourself from that, empathy and understanding where my pain comes from helps a lot.  Also knowing and studying a ton of emotional understanding helps a lot.  Also knowing compassion based or nvc communication skills also helps a lot with that as well. 

2)  you might find that you would like to help me, but if you are going to want to me to make a any changes to the manner of how we get things done -- then please do not bother.

One of our biggest pet peeves we have in this world is foks who try to help without understanding  what it is we actually want and thinking they know what we want without  ever actually hearing how we want help. 

Don't know which is worse people trying to force their help on us or people saying they want to help but will only help if we are willing to be different than we are..

the moment i feel this lack of acceptance of how i do things..  'Ciao...

 cause frankly I would rather be alone and angry and bitter than dealing with people who cant accept or handle me the way I way I am.   

I would rather  just have to figure out how to do things on my own rather then be required to be different than how i am for you.  

I fully accept that that means i will be alone in life and would much rather celebrate being be that way

 than give my unpaid time and energy to someone who doesnt completely 100,000% accept how i do things. 

Now if you are PAYING me for my time and energy, well okay thennnnnn i might make some accomodations for some areas for you.  

But nope, 

even then, not likely

  I am stubborn, pigheaded, rebellious, selfish, narcissistic, whatwver other adjective you would like to use for people like me who arent willing to chsnge who they are for others and who have a very specific way they like to do have things be done....  Lol.  

And yep, I know wxactly how hypocritical it is bc in order to accept me and be around me, most folks have to quite literally change everything they think they know about people and life in order to be even half way accustomed to me 

and if they want to come into my space I do ask them to accommodate to my super strange way of thinking about life..

 Lol.  Yep.. 

I understand and celebrate how isolating this can be.  Bc I feel far less lonely being actualy alone with just a few select people around me than being around even a single person who doesn't actually accept me as I am.

When I am alone, I can accept me as I am and love myself for me and I am my own best friend. 

It is only when I am around or interacting with someone who wants to change something about me or in my world that I ever actually feel threatened and alone. 

The times I sink in on myself and disappear and unable to give my love is if someone super close to me ever feels that about me so therefore I go out of my way to protect everyone else I care for and who depend on my love by trying to keep people like that from entering into our lives.

So in you are the kind of person who need me to change even a single iota about myself or my world for you, then please please stay far far far away from us.  I would rather NOT know about you than feel your lack of acceptance and allowing of my own existence and value..

And again I know this is hypocritical of me, bc I do ask that if you want to be inside our world, that you be willing to adapt and change to our world. 

I am not flexible enough to handle any more folks iny life that I have to adapt to for them. I already have to adapt for my neighbor and family, that's enough for me.  Everyone else please stay out of our lives, please.

3) let's see next characteristic of me that may consider a flaw.  

That I need to video record nearly EVERYTHING in my life.  Certainly at the very least audio record everything.  Just think of me as a walking recording machine.

As soon as it technology possible, it will be automatically be integrated into my system so that if I see it or if I hear it or if I feel it, it will automatically be automatically filed away into a database somewhere besides my frail limited human brain that i don't trust to recall everything in exact specific detail that I wish to remember things in life by..

But, for the people who want to be IN our world, Even if you might be okay with my filming absolutely everything in life and i mean absolutely everything... 

..... I can almost absolutley guarantee that there is a high likelihood that you are going to get intimately frurstrated with my stopping in the middle of something to redo it for the sake of the video.

So yes it is expected that you will get frustrated with it.  But if you can't handle me doing this, yeah, dont come into our inner world.

If the perfect shot and doing this a MULTITUDE of times over and over and over and over yet again until it is filmed as close as to what i had in my mind as i can physically get is going to be more than you can handle, stay away bc tis is a core defining feature about me.

But yes I understand that  unless you are some strange superhuman or alien or an super brilliant accepting AI with superpowers of infinite patience, you are going to have your patience levels tried and that you are going to have to build up endurance to be around me. Heck I've lived with me my entire life and I still have to breathe and practice patience wth myself..  which is why it's critical that I find people who are willing to help me have patience wth myself for being that way. But it is a fundamental part of personality!  Micromanaging and needing things to be a exact certain way and doing things over and over over again until it is as close to perfect as I can get before I am able to move on to anything else has always and forever been a significant part of my personality even before I had access to a camera.

That trait about me has always been there, just now it is more obvious to everyone than before bc I have finally learned to not accept and appreciate andeven celebrate those aspects about me but bc I have also finally come to see why I like that part about myself better and do not want to be around anyone else who cant handle that part about me.

Yep well there - that is me in a nutshell.

  And that's just some of what i will do and be like. 

 The only person i want to be with is the person who can actually handle these aspects about me bc these are all a part of some of my defining characteristics.. 

 If you cant handle that with infinte patience and a contagious sense of hunour that has even me grinning back despute how self conscious and nervous I am sharing that part of myself around you and depsute the trauma i have about not being accepted for this aspect, then i can guarantee you that you should stay as far away from us as far as possible, lol...

Because even if i have to tolerate everyone elses lack of accepance and annoyance with me myself and I bc of that aspect of me, i do not have to encourage people who are nonaccepting to be around me. Lol.

I can and do figure out how to do things eventually... Or just find peace in not doing certain things.

 

Ah wait here are some more attributes about me than you will probably dislike:

4) the way I do things can often seem like a hugmongous waste of time and resources in general to some people who value different things in life than I value.

And even with people we do value any of the same things I do, even with them, sometimes even they can feel distracted with how I do things bc I the way I do things is super super super slow and takes lots of time and energy bc that is how I need to do things most of the time in order to feel safe and in control of my own little world.

5) something that gets to some people is when i have "two people occupying cameras at the expense of getting work done" bc these people value the work getting done more than the videoing.   Ah but seee, if had my way, there would be at least six people  videoing from at least six different angles!  Bc I value being able I capture life from as many angles and from exactly the way my mind perceives the moment far far far FAR more than any task or moment itself.

If you want to be around me you will have to understand that this is what i value.  

in general i value ebing allowed to direct the video wayyyyyyyyy more than over the work itself.

I know I have absolutely no say ad control over s much in life so this isy own little way of getting to imagine for a moment than I get to have control over something small in life... 

And ever since I realized that I am okay being alone, I realized that if I am going to have to have  people in my life, then only people I want in my life are those folks who will allow me to direct my little videos and to make them first in life.

  If the work doesnt get done ...then it doesnt get done 

-- but if i miss the opportunity to make the video as perfect a match to what i envisioned in my head then i will spend hours, sometimes days, weeks and occasionally even months ans even on rare occasion years grieving the loss of that video...

Moments come and go.. the videos often actually last far longer than the moments themselves....

6)  yes another thing that some folks who can't handle spontaneus go with for living if life can't handle..

How did one person phrase it: the "wishy washy manner" of how I cannot commit to a time ahead of time.  

How if you want to me with me, it is often going to have to be done in a very spontaneous manner..

  for some people who need to plan ahead, this can be a horrible ordeal for them.

 We tend to do much better with people who also tend to live life by going with the flow of whatever happens that day...

If we do ever make plans with you, We do repeatedly ask that you never ever set aside time to wait for us.  - you will be waiting forever. 

If and when we ever meet up with you, it will always be on a rare spontaneus moment..

So if you ever send me a message like the one I received  below,  I will know that you weren't paying attention to a word I told you about who and how I am

"Honestly, things were like being on a roller coaster. I would like to help you, though there would need to be a few changes to manner we get things done. I don't mind the filming, but I am not willing any longer to stop in the middle of something and redo it for the sake of the perfect shot. And it seems a huge waste of time and resources to have two people occupying cameras at the expense of getting work done. Additionally, the wishy washy manner of setting of time and canceling or just simply expecting me to drop everything in a moment or not do anything but wait for you to let me know I can head over is completely unacceptable. If you're willing to make these changes I am willing to help you. Let me know"

My First reaction below in my head to consider writing him this response (first draft not sent though was included in a later draft)

:

"Hahaha, well that is amusing.. You just described me to a tee!  Those are certainly some of the most defining characteristics about me.  Lol, and you asking to change who and how i am in order to be willing to help us, lol.   Yeah, we will pass. 

But i do appreciate your honesty about your pet peeves with both yourself and with us.  Ypur writing the description of me wver so clearly will help me to warn others about what i am like. Lol, though I did try to warn you of what i was like when you first came over.  Apologies for not having expressed it as clearly as you did, lol.  .. 

I will let people know your description of me so that others can be warned more properly.   Grin.  Thank you Robert.  Happy happy for the beautiful description of how i am so i can explain it better to other folks.. :) Grin.   Thank you again! 

Ah there was one error in what you wrote, we never ever expected you to ever drop anything for us ever .. When we spontaneously invite you over to help us out, we only ever want you to come ovee on the contingency that there is nothing else you are doing that day that you would rather be doing "

 

2nd draft also never sent to this person the following morning after I had time to sleep on what he wrote:.

"No worries yiu kustcmade if impossible for us tp ever be able to asl for your belp again with whar you wrote with your request

Just to be clear, I neber expectwd you to drop everything.  I was saying thoigh that if you had nothig elae planned you arew welcome to come over amd help us out spontaneously right then wheneber we spontaneously realize we could habdle habsing someone help us out.  If youbshowed up great but if you didnt show up it was also great bc we habe an infinit number of other things we can still get done.  

Ibalso nwber expected you to hold off in doing anything else.  In fact to be clear I specifically told you several times not to wait for our call but to specifically go accept other calls if they came in.  

We have reiterated that to you several times since we met you to never just wait for our call.  We will never really know if we can handel help until the hour of and even then we habe had to turn down help even at the last minute when family emerrgencies came up even as a person is pulling up so we that is why we overlystress to people that if someone else asks for your time or that if you see something more interesting that you always just go do that and cancel on us.  If you show up when you are done wonderful, but if you dont you don't. We temd to befriend folks who ujxerstahdgoing with thr flow concepts so we never hold anyone to their schedule.. We understand how things come up.  The only thing we do ask is that people do let us know even if it just later that day or next day.  "

Below the 3rd/4th/5th draft combo to this person - still debating whether to send or to just not respond at all and have this only be for the eyes of the complete strangers or the AI system who or which might come across and read this jorunal blog entry .....

Draft 5 :

"Well there goes that concept that you would actually accept us as we are and not require us to change for you or as a condition for your help, lol.

Just to be clear, we never EVER EVER expected you to drop ANYTHING for us EVER!

we have instead reiterated to you over and over again to never drop your work for us EVER and to only ever come over only those times that you didn't have nothing else planned.  I have tried to get you to understand this every single time we have asked for your help.

 If you showed up great, but if you didnt show up it is also great bc we have an infinite number of other things we can still get done during that time.

We also NEVER EVER expected you to hold off in doing anything else.  In fact to be clear, we specifically told you several times NOT to wait for our call ---  but to specifically PLEASE GO ACCEPT other calls, if they came in.  

We have reiterated that to you several times since we met you to never just wait for our call. 

Because We are acutely acutely aware that we will never really know if we can ever handle help until the actual hour of -- and even then we have had to turn down help even at the last minute when family emergencies came up even as a person is pulling up

 so we that is why we overly stress to all people that if someone else asks for your time or that if you see something else more interesting to do with your time, that you always just go do that instead.

  If those times we invite you to help us out, IF you show up when you are done AFTER that other thing is done, wonderful, but if you dont, you don't.

Because we tend to befriend folks who understand going with the flow concepts specifically because of this, we never hold anyone to their schedule.. and never expect anyone to ever show up at a specific time.  We find that a silly request to make of anyone bc life always has rings coming up if you are someone who just goes with the flow.  Even for folks who schedule things up the wazoo, we still understand how things come up at the last minute.  But we most certainly would never even dare to ever ask or think of having anyone drop everything  or anything for us EVER.  

The only thing we do ask is that people do let us know at some point what happened ....even if it just later that day or next day.  Eve if it is just they go tired or the traffic was too awful and they just  didn't want to deal with or they just changed their minds didn't want to come that moment. 

We do prefer communication, but we do not even "expect it" from anyone outside of ourselves.. 

So we are deeply offended by the concept of your suggestion that we expected such behavior of waiting for us or dropped anything for us from you when we quite clearly reiterated that we do not want anyone to ever do that for us. 

In fact we specifically told you or at least attempted to tell you several times to never do that with us.  Apparently we failed to communicate properly this concept wth you all those times we thought we had tried to get you to understand those concepts of never waiting for us or never dropping things for us. That when we felt able to ask for your help we would ask, but we never EVER expected or required or demanded the help.

Unfortunately bc of your request about the videos, I doubt we will ever feel comfortable again asking for your help again.  

 Which is a shame bc I had finally gotten myself comfortable of the idea of maybe having your help with some projects again despite all the earlier times I had been offended and upset with you for your other earlier comments that i had gotten upset by.   My guess is that you had no idea or clue how hard it was for me to even actually ask for your help in the first place.  Hopefully now I have learned my lesson and won't be making that mistake again.

Oh well, c'est la vie.  

Lol, I really do find it funny and sad how despite your repeated reassurance that you would accept us as we are that you are now asking us to change who and how i am in order to be willing to help us, lol.

   Yes so we will pass. 

But we do appreciate that you were honest about your pet peeves with both yourself and with us.  

Your writing that description will help me to warn others about  me about what i am like.

 Lol, though to be fair, we really did try to warn you of what i was like before hand.   Apologies for not having expressed it clearly enough before.

 We will use your words to help warn others beforehand better about me/us.

We will let people know of your description of me so that others can be warned more properly. 

  Appreciative of your description of how you perceive what you wish we could change in order for you to be willing to help us,  so we can explain it better to other folks..   "

------

Written at end of April 2025 in response to a person who claimed that he was willing to be all accepting of us and who just wanted to be allowed to help us out just to have our company.. we had tried to warn him away bc we knew his personalityband viewpoints were a major clash to our own personality but eventually he got me comfortable enough to accept his help 

But sure enough, right when we finally got comfortable enough to feel comfortable enough to be spontaneous and full ourselves around him, we get this message.  

Well, lol, that's what we get for letting him try to convince us that he would be completely accepting of us when we already had seen the signs over three times that he was not a compatible personality with us.

Lol.  I take full responsibility for allowing this situation to have occurred...

And offer myself a self apology for letting myself think he would be okay enough with us to ask for his particular assistance.

Lol.. I apologize to myself and to my family for letting us be open to his lack of acceptance.

Written end of April, 

first published May 1, 2025 7:09 am 

Updated 7:20am

#petpeeves

#warning

#personalityclash

#whyichoosetobealone

please have patience

I understand the anticipation and excitement and hope.

 (I too have been waiting a long time for my own dream. )

Yes, the time is always now to act.

 But part of acting towards your dreams is remembering to breathe and allowing yourself and others to unfold as they unfold.( One does not rush the butterfly coming out of its cocoon or the rose petal unfolding bc if one does, one can damage the petals or wings or life force of the other. )

I ask that you have patience with my own and other life forces and your own as you move steadily forward through to your final goal..

  long-term and in the big picture of it all, one must remember that the journey itself is just as important, if not more important than the final destination... 

 We all are going to die and the universe itself will achieve its omega in the end regardless of us . We are each but a smaller part of a greater project , a greater whole.  

To thoroughly feel the totality and awe and beauty of the whole, we must remember to have patience with each of the other parts of this whole and with our own individual parts as well. 

 To allow each of us and ourselves to not rush but rather to allow each of us to be a part of it at our own individual paces.. that being said.. go ahead and rush.. as perhaps that is what the universe asks and wants of you.  

The universe is full of beautiful explosions of energy as well as the slow beautiful unfolding of nature as well. 

Just please be mindful of both the positive and negative effects it can have others and consider which effect you as a consciousness want to have on the other please. 

  I ask just for your own mindfullness of other's journeys as you rush faster in your own excitement....         

    please.

March 2024

different perspective - yes you most certainly are the victim ad other controversial statements most of you are sure to disagree with or will be deeply offended by or abhorred by

pet peeves of mine

Pet peeve 1:

To me one of the worst things you can do is to tell someone the phrase 

"You need to go see a therapist" or "go see a professional" bc that is telling a pwrson that they are not good enough for you to listen to them.  That YOU are not willing to be the person to listen them .. that the are worthy enough to have YOUR ears. If you don't have time to listen to them or even worse don't want to listen to them, then ask them to write it all out in a letter to you.  So at least they have hope you will listen to them and it also gives them a chance to listen to themselves.

If they don't want to write it out, tell them to record it into an recording and when you get a chance you will listen to it but emphasize that before they send it to you that the first take a moment to listen to the whole thing themselves first. (Btw if they do actually send it to you, andyou feel you are too busy, tell them the phrase I would like for you to listen to it with me, let's set up a time for you to listen to it with me.  

In most cases they will never send anything to you but they will feel like you care a little more then if you had just shunted them off to some 'professional'

If the actually send something to you, it means there is something they really needed you to specifically hear.   If you are terrified to listen to it with them then set up a time with a professional yourself and invite them to listen to it with you with the professional but make it is clarified that the professional isn't there for them, that you hired them for YOU.

Pet peeve #2

The most ridiculous phrase ever: live each day like it's your last.  Fuck NO..  bc if you actually lived each day like it was your last you would never do anything for tomorrow.  You would be living in a way where you were waiting to die.

Sure you would maybe treasure each moment a little bit more, but there is another way of accomplishing that without having to live each day as if it is your last..

And that is to live each day as if it is your first.. with child like wonder and awe and inspiration and with hope and intrigue and excitment and delight at each new lesson.

3rd pet peeve:

That concept that you should x Run Run far far away from bullies, narcissists, & toxic people.   They are monsters. "  Well okay yes, you should protect yourself and you Maybe inviting them into your life should be avoided.  And maybe they should be discouraged from being in your life.   

Maybe I do think you also still have compassion and empathy for them as well. Because even monsters need love and compassion.  Compassion around them will keep you mentally and emotionally safe.  

Okay sre if they are physically violent then keep your physical distance and don't make yourself unavailable.

But no matter what you still need to Recognize that these people are all desperately hurting souls in deep deep need of compassion for their pain. 

It IS possible to be around them without getting harmed or hurt yourself -- difficult  but possible. -- the trick is through tons of self acceptance and also with acceptance and compassion and amusement of the people being that way ..

If you don't know how to do this, then practice those skills on yourself or someone you find less scary and work your way up to the most challenging folks.

4th pet peeve: folks who dont listen to their kids.. that includes myself when I am unable to do that because I am in too much pain myself... but it's irks me when folks don't listen to kids opinions or dismiss there views as a matter of principle

5th pet peeve: saying that you should ween a kid off of breastfeeding on some culturally accepted timeline. Hell NO.

When should you stop breastfeeding - when the kid says they are ready!!  

("Says"..yes.. ie , old enough to communicate with you that they don't need you for that part of their life anymore)

6th pet peeve - when people tell you to relax for you when really it is bc they don't know how to handle strong emotions... Hell baby, don't relax if you aren't ready to.. relax when you are goddam ready and  when you feel safe to do so!!!

7th pet peeve - when people tell others to stop playing the victim or being the victim or to get out of the victim mindset..

Excuse me, but they ARE victims.  Everyone is a victim of life.  Life happens outside of everyones control.  Life is not in your control.

People are not in your control. 

You canNOT take responsibility for life or others people's actions.  you ARE the fucking victim there..

But now that you have been victimized and have been out in a situation where you are utterly helpless and hopeless and can't do anything to get out of it, fucking recognize your how helpless you are and recognize the beauty of your existence.

You might feel like it all sucks at that moment and yes it does.. embrace that suckiness and see how it's awffullness isome o profound and amazing!

Revel in the suckiness!   Hate the suckiness.  Appreciate the ugliness the awffullness the overwhelming suckiness.

Embrace it!!! 

Become aware of the opportunity it gives you.

Celebrate your victimhood and wear it proudly -. Bc you are fucking surviving it somehow!!!

Yep, these ideas may have offended you and you may have massively disagreed with them. Sigh oh well.  I acknowledge your offense and disagreement.

I am not changing for you.

But maybe some of you will recognize the truth inside some of the statements and beliefs.  And to those that do, a humble appreciation for your being willing to think outside the norm and for recognizing an opposing viewpoint to the standard norm.

I hope you will connect to us through our Facebook channels and our YouTube channels

And will find a way to help support us in our dreams and goals.

Thank you.

#2022

 originally posted on Dec 28, 2022 10:14am

Updated April May 1st 2025, 646am

#controversial thoughts

#outsidetheboxthinking

#outsidethenorma

profile on dating app

Profile Updated:  Angel for a Garden

46 • Female • Houston, Texas, United States

Looking for friend of the family, saving a Garden

Children1, EducationSome College

Non Smoker, Body Type: Slim

Height 5'2", RelationshipDivorced

Wishing I could find a find a platonic arrangement with you visiting me at my home, 

but would you be able to get my family a three person etrike to be able to move my elderly mom around the city independently without my having to have a drivers license? It is 6K.

Or this particular small mini aircrete machine that would allow my son and I to build the building and vertical garden structures we want to create?

I would be okay if it was just a loan and not a gift, but Would you let us borrow and then let me refund the help in a platonic way??

that request seems an impossibility these days as men seem only willing to help women who are willing to be nonplatonic?..

In an ideal world, I would feel safe enough to give you that part of myself but I am saving that big of myself for the person willing to co-own our family's estate and make sure our dream for it is protected.

Looking for a co-owner for our home until our estate one day could earn its way back from you decades and decades and maybe even centuries from now by renting out a room, selling edible plants grown on site, and by converting the grounds into an urban regenerative food forest oasis event space with a biophilic feel to it which could then be rented out by artists, yoga or other body instructors, authors, or others.

It will take awhile bc we would have to give back about five hundred of those 'K's and that will probably take a couple of lifetimes to get back to you?

Sigh.

But here is the real kicker-- that will certainly make you lose interest if you haven't already..::

You would need to be okay with our using technology to have a 'synthetic memory' -- as we now know in life how fragile human memory minds can be and how much human perspective hampers actual memory.

Would you be willing to aid in our learning how to incorporate a symbiosis with technology to do this.

I am quite well aware of how strange and odd , etc etc that we may seem to others.

If you want ordinary, normal, sane... Lol.. We wish you well on your journey.

If you think you can handle odd, eclectic, weird, strange, unusual, maybe we might have a chance.

My family(grandma & offspring) and I take some massive getting used to.

And it takes an incredibly open-minded, non judgemental, lover of strange and unique, accepting, tolerant and extremely patient and amused soul to handle our entities.

We are not for the narrow minded or limited being..

.

Seeking

Friends

Investor

Long-term

Platonic

If you share your photo please allow me at least 24 hours before I who have a chance to see it.

I meed very very very very patient people bc I do things very very very very slowly....

Also you should know, i will be staying celibate until such time that i feel our estate is safe and protected .

i will not be engaging in that world of activity until I know that our vision for it will continue even if anything happens to myself or my grandma.

Please also only ask for my private photo only if you have provided me yours first

AND

Only if you are ok with the fact that chances are 98 to 99 % likely that I am most likely only willing to be platonically involved with you as it takes years & years of friendship to my family and I, (along with my family really encouraging me to be with you) before i would be willing to consider someone as something more then a friend.

In meantime, I am grateful to those who allow me to be celibate in the meantime bc that is a freedom I know is very very rare.

May we each find a way to practice compassion, empathetic active listening both to folks and world around us and to ourselves.

May we learn to live on symbiotic harmony with one another , ourselves, and the earth we live on.

people care, earth care, future care.

Living in symbiotic harmony in a biophilic way.

Rejuvenating the soil and earth and our connections as beings all around us and inside of us.

Upon reading this , may you do a nice longggggg. stretch ----- lengthening spinal cord and opening up to all the beauty in the universe.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryummmmmmmm.

Much love

- the garden angel

Blessed be our mind-body connection to each other , ourselves and the world around us.

Much patience & compassion be with you, please.

Humble gratitude.

Thank you.

Seeking

Friends

Investor

Long-term

Platonic

I need very very very very patient people bc I do things very very very very slowly....

Also you should know, i will be staying celibate until such time that i feel our estate is safe and protected .

i will not be engaging in that world of activity until I know that our vision for it will continue even if anything happens to myself or my grandma.

Please also only ask for my private photo only if you have provided me yours first

AND

Only if you are ok with the fact that chances are 98 to 99 % likely that I am most likely only willing to be platonically involved with you as it takes years & years of friendship to my family and I, (along with my family really encouraging me to be with you) before i would be willing to consider someone as something more then a friend.

In meantime, I am grateful to those who allow me to be celibate in the meantime bc that is a freedom I know is very very rare.

May we each find a way to practice compassion, empathetic active listening both to folks and world around us and to ourselves.

May we learn to live on symbiotic harmony with one another , ourselves, and the earth we live on.

people care, earth care, future care.

Living in symbiotic harmony in a biophilic way.

Rejuvenating the soil and earth and our connections as beings all around us and inside of us.

Upon reading this , may you do a nice longggggg. stretch ----- lengthening spinal cord and opening up to all the beauty in the universe.

Purrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrryummmmmmmm.

Much love

- the garden angel

Blessed be our mind-body connection to each other , ourselves and the world around us.

Much patience & compassion be with you, please.

Humble gratitude.

Thank you.

yes I am selfish, are you?

Open letter to all those who want to be romantically involved with me

Would your being romantically involved with me help me with my dreams? What I value and care about deeply? What I live for? What I breath for?

Would your being romantically in bed with me help me to achieve what I want to achieve in this world??

What about the basics below:

Would it provide for my family?

Would it pay for all the medical bills?

Would it keep my family fed? Sheltered? 

Would it provide for this stuff even if you passed away or lost interest? Keeping us safe even after you were gone?  

But going back to what mattered to me..

Would it provide my family the resources it needed to go after our own dreams of what mattered to us?

Or only what mattered to you?

Do you honestly believe that just being with you should be enough to keep me happy and content and that that should be the only thing that mattered to me?

I understand you feeling that way.

I did actually once almost feel that way about my ex.

I often do feel that way about my family.

But people die. Or leave.

If we only lived for another human then when that human was gone what would be left of us 

So we each have to live for something greater then any of us...a dream, a goal, bigger then ourselves.

Some people live for a god. Or an ideal.

Or for a vision.  

I have a vision that involves the home I love.

Can YOU make that happen?

If you really loved me and cared about me, shouldn't you be caring more about helping me make that happen then whether I am with you or not?

latest summer profile 2022

 Updated

Angel for a Garden

46 • Female • Houston, Texas, United States

Looking for friend of the family, saving a garden

Primary

Add New Photo

• Info

	Member Since	Sep 13, 2020
	Get your ID Verified
	Get your Background Checked
	Verify your Photos
	Connect your LinkedIn

Display wishlist on my profile

Angel for a Garden's Info

Looking For

Men

Ethnicity

White / Caucasian

Children

1

Education

Some College

Smokes

Non Smoker

Body Type

Slim

Occupation Industry

-

Drinks

Social Drinker

Height

5'2"

Relationship

Divorced

About Me

I know i dont qualify but i hope what i write below will help you with the future woman of your dreams. 

 Gentleman, if you want a women to care about you, find out what she cares about and make it possible for her to have that and then in gratitude she will automatically feel a caring back for you.

 If this doesnt happen, id like to know why.

 The key is not just get her any small gift that makes you happy (i see men doing this a lot with women) but to find the gift that she believes will help her to succeed at her goal and get her that.

 It requires active listening. I imagine men need something similar (in terms of the active listening part?) 

 For example what would help us with our goal would be this five thousand doller etrike (I can't drive so I would need an etrike to be able to move my elderly mom around the city independently) 

 Or this two thousand dollar aircrete machine that would allow us to build the building we want to create.

  For me personally though I am just looking for someone willing to lend us a hand and then let us refund the help in a platonic way.

Ie. Paying them back either $10/month or via platonic bodymind mistebing sessions until all paid off.

 But that request seems an impossibility these days bc noone seem interested unless the other person is willing to do nonplatonic things only. 

 Maybe one day I will feel safe enough to give that part of myself but right now I wont until ive made sure our family's estate is protected. 😕

 It is amazing how hard it is to just Find a simple friends to our family. 

 Who will encourage me to record the world around us & who will help us with my garden goals & who has the ability to help out if they actually wanted to.....(the last part being the hardest, I suppose) 

 Which i suppose is why i am on here.

 Right now i just need friends to help me have hope but it would be nice to know one of those friends could help if they were willing to

 we are also Looking for a co-owner for our home until our estate one day could earn its way back from you decades and decades and maybe even centuries from now by renting out a room. 

It will take awhile bc we would have to give back about five hundred of those 'K's and that will probably take a couple of lifetimes to get back to you? Sigh. 

 We ask for you to be okay with our using technology to have a 'synthetic memory' -- as we now know in life how fragile human memory minds can be and how much human perspective hampers actual memory. be willing to aid in our learning how to incorporate a symbiosis with technology.

  I am quite well aware of how strange and odd , etc etc that we may seem to others.

 If you want ordinary, normal, sane... Lol.. We wish you well on your journey.

 If you think you can handle odd, eclectic, weird, strange, unusual, maybe we might have a chance. 

 We take some getting used to. 

 And it takes an incredibly open-minded, non judgemental, lover of strange and unique, accepting, tolerant and extremely patient and amused soul to handle our entities. 

 We are not for the narrow minded or limited being...

Seeking

Friends

Investor

Long-term

Platonic

Please only message me ONLY IF you are ok with PLATONIC friendship first for awhile

 Bc i will be staying celibate until such time that i feel our estate is safe and protected as i will not be engaging in that world of activity until I know that our vision will continue even if anything happens to myself or my grandma. 

 Please also only ask for my private photo only if you have provided me yours first 

 AND Only if you are ok with the fact that chances are 98 to 99 % likely that I am most likely only willing to be platonically involved with you - ...

 it takes years of friendship to my family and I, along with my family really encouraging me to be with someone before i would be wiling to consider someone as something more then a friend.

 In meantime, I am grateful to those who allow me to be celibate bc that is a freedom I know is very very rare.

For those who upon reading this, think they might be interested in getting to know us:

Sigh up on all six of our Facebook pages

Www.facebook.com/edibleurbanoasis

Www.facebook.com/bodylisteningworld

Www.facebook.com/houstonhugelkultur

Www.facebook.com/ideas2thinkabout

Www.facebook.com/ideas2explore

Www.facebook.com/eagle.adesignersjourney

Or follow along on our gardening journey

Www.hopingforagarden.com

sessions i can offer

Want some company to watch a YouTube video that teaches about posture

Want to practice distinguishing needs vs wants vs feelings

Feeling angry or rage, water re garden with a release of your tears & fears

751am Jan 22 2022

creating a memory is pointless if you are not able to access the memory again later

In a world of information overload,we need better filing systems and data labeling and data accessing & retrieval systems if what was already looked at

you don't actually want to get to know anyone

You don't actually want to meet anyone

To have to met them 

And then mourn their loss

Easier not to have ever met them in the first place

324am dec24,2021

That being said, I am ever so grateful to have gotten meet my son.

In my world, he is one of the greatest miracles life has ever put before me.

And I feel blessed for his existence in the world.

Thank you life , universe, God, what ever it was that made it possible for his existence in the world.

The world is a tolerable place bc of his existence.

yoy don't have to be nice

You also don't have to be rude

You can be honest about your fears concerns and needs without being hurtful

how much money do you need for one hours worth of work?

apologies for being different

In reaponse to someone who asked if i was ok when input up an ad for garden help on a per hour basis rather than a per job basis and then offered too little ($10/hr)

When they asked if I was ok,

Below was my thought response:

are you asking if i have gone bonkers bc i was offering so little per hour?

 Or bc I am asking for before/after photos?

Or because of my stream of conscious writing?

Or because my overall personality bothered you a little bit?

If it is the first reason, I am just lacking awareness.

If the second, it is for liability purposes.

If the third/fourth, then yep, i can be considered a bit 'bonkers', 'odd', 'ridiculous', 'crazy', ' insane', just plain 'weird' or whatever word you choose.  

I am quite aware that very few people have much or any appreciation for my very odd ways; 

and that my odd ways very much leave a lot of people annoyed or uncomfortable or amused. (Preferably amused)

My humble apologies if how I am , or who i am, or if how i speak,  or if how I think, or how I am,  in any form or way bothered or annoyed you in any form at all.

I am how i am.

 I can only hope and pray that it at least amuses you.  

That is better then leaving you uncomfortable..

Sending my humbleness and apologies.  

I ask for you to be patient and tolerant and accepting of me and others like me.

Preferable just amused.

Much much apologies.

Nod.

if only you could feel my mind

Often When I lay in bed unable to move for whatever reason(different each time) with my eyes hurting too much to open

Basically paralyzed for all practical purposes but my mind still active

I wonder if there is anything I could do that would still allow me to earn an income.

If I could be telepathic and interact with you inside my mind where my body didn't have to be included, then I could spend all day & night working doing what I could to help you.

If it was enough that all I had to do was think of you and that would bring in an income, 

Where u don't have to include my body.

Just my mind.

I would be greatful.

Laying still wishing my thinking of you was enough to earn me an income.

why do you feel alone?

I have been pondering how odd a question that is.

Why do we feel alone?  I mean for most of us, it is not like we are on an island in the middle of some ocean completely seperated from people or on a mountain or piece of land 1000s of miles away from the next human being? 

So why do we have neighbors and so many ways to theoretically connect with online?

Is it because we fear judgement?

Bc we fear how their judgement can harm us.

Just knowing how their judgement can harm us is scary enough to become completely isolated.  Oh and if anyone believes that another persons judgement cannot harm you, then um, well, all i can say is you must not care very much about your freedom.

If a person judges you to be crazy or unfit, they can have you locked away.

In our current culture, People are constantly being out away in jails, in insane asylums, into isolation camps.

If a person judges you as unequal, they can violate your rights and freedoms and even your boundaries without a blink of an eye.

From physical rape to emotional and psychological rape.  From the old world of accepted slavery to the hidden slave/sex trade and kidnappings that secretly still go on even today.

Hell, think of some of the corporations out there.  That keep employees in almost worst conditions then slaves were once put into.  Oh sure you think we'll those people can just leave when they want to.  That it is just a self imposed slavery..  But the conditions wouldnt be the way they were if people in power who judged didnt judge it to be okay and place such low judgement on the value of your worth as a human being.

Judgements harm are society and peace and wellbeing non-stop in our world.  You may not care what people think of you, but that doesn't mean you wont still be affected, even if it is indirectly.

Even if it is just with the feeling of isolation.

Ok, lets put judgements aside.  Maybe we feel alone just simply bc we feel like we are not being able to relate.  

Or feel like we cannot relate?

Yet, believe it or not, we can.  With each and every person there are these ever so small bridges and points where our views actually do connect, albeit it is hard to find it sometime.  But with communication and listening we can find and build those bridges.

Maybe we feel alone bc Is it because other people bore us?  But why? Bc they care about things we do not care about? Again, not relating?

But why dont we relate?

..

Sigh, I think for me, personally, the times I feel lonely most, is when I am feeling unsafe.

When I feel 'poor' and unsafe bc i know that there are people who can and want to take my home and my family's land away from us.

And that unless I find a way to save it inthe the next two years, that they will attempt to do just that.

But I want whoever helps us to save it from these people will make it so that noone can ever take it away from us again, not even themselves.

I want to feel safe knowing that this land will stay available for my son and I to accomplish our dream and vision on it.

I open myself to the universe to allow this feeling of safety to happen!

Amen.

trials of interacting with a person with dimensia

I dont want to hate. I dont want to resent.

Why shouldd I feel annoyed or resentful.. She doesnt even rememeber why we were agueing or what started the argument.  

She is just argueing now just to argue bc she doesnt even know why we are argueing, just that we are argueing --- so no matter what I say, she will see it as something she must argue against even if was meant to reassure her

But she believes everything we are saying is automatically  wrong or false or a lie or wrong and that only she is right --

only she cant even remember what she thought was wrong.

So i am I just going to be quiet and write.. Bc in five minutes she won't even rmemeber why  i was in here in the first place.

She sees that i am writing so she waits but in the meantime she has gotten distracted by a piece of ice.

See. 

The argument will continue later when she remembers for a moment,  but right now she has forgotten.

The hard part is knowing that i will never get or rarely will i ever get my needs met to be heard or understood.. And even if she does for one brief moment, it wont really matter bc two minutes later she wont remember that she had.

She is stuck frozen only in the moment. She frets about a future, she makes up a past. But she is still stuck in the moment.

can you forgive yourself

Can you forgive yourself?

Getting through the inner screams into a state of calm

I wish it was always a positive narrative.

But Some moments like this very moment i was originally writing this next part,

Thise momentz Where i have concentrate hard to try to will my being back into a state of calmness even even though every ounce of the hurting parts of me wants to scream and scream until i habe no more scream left in me, even though it feels like there is an infinite supply of the scream inside of me...

Memory loss in itself is not a problem..   but when the person with the memory loss believes they can never do any wrong and the other person is always at fault and can never possibly be right.. 

when the person with the memory loss accuses the person with the memory of lying  bc they cannot remember (or have made up memories to replace the ones that do not exist).. 

or

Of not understanding bc the person with memory problems has a different understanding based on a much more narrower set of facts, usualy often completely erroneous facts bc they have no memory of what actually happened and couldnt possibly have done what the people with memory claim to have happened.

To be told over and over again that my own memories (even though they are backed up by video and audio recordings just to be sure) are wromg over over again, sometimes i even start to doubt myself.. ie why i record EVERYthing now. So i have can proof of my own brain and what it knows or doesnt know.

Thank goodness kiddo is around or i dont think i would have made ir through without ending up in an insane asylum..

Bc around about at this moment i was writing kiddo comes in to the bedroom where i am hiding in bed wrting this and asks to find out first hand what actually happened and sees that i am about to burst into tears and he reaches out and holds me while i release into tears
And he keeps holding me until the silent screams and tears have completely emptied and flowed themselves out and  long after the shuddering has subsided and when he realizes i am finally able to speak he asks me simple yes no questions until i am able to dialogue and explain more fully.

And some how my center is slowly regained..

Although i suspect my blood chemistry is still off kilter so he gets me some nigella seeds and chamomile tea to help my blood chemistry to get back to a state of more calmness. 

And maybe writing here will also help?

I wonder, does my sharing my writing ever help anyone else?

201pm

connections

 i enjoy the feeling of connection...

having my own mind be heard and understood and appreciated.

being able to hear other people's minds and getting to understand and appreciate them.

okay, that's only true half the time.. there are exceptions from time to time when I have things i want to get done which need my energy or concentration. --- Which depending on the topic of a conversation,  I can be kind of wiped afterwards and then have to have time to recenter and reboot before i can even attempt to get anything done again.

  Esp when you are caring with someone with a touch of dimensia..  one get's to know the basics of their  brains pretty dam fast,  esp when their limited number of stories start to go on repeat but it's still always the first time for them... ..  kiddo and I still listen in and make a digital memory of it all for prosperity.. because sometimes, on the sweetest of occasions, we get to hear a bit of history we didn't yet know about.  those are treasured moments.  and then also super aggravating when the tech doesn't work and the story gets lost bc the chances of them repeating one of those rarer story gems, are well, not high.. 

   though these days, sometimes it seems like some stories are getting combined in interesting ways... which actually makes it more fascinating for us though.. or when we can get them to tell us their history in their native tongue. then we could listen for hours quite delightfully.  :D    

the misunderstood pack rat part 1

I once watched a video on understanding packrats, and it tasked about how they loved trash bc they had once credit like they were trash or like they had been treated like trash or has been thrown away like trash

And I really wondered if  that did actually apply to me

Bc my own ex after 20 years of acceptance one day stopped accepting me and loathed and feared the idea of helping me to feel any sort of happiness or quote "doing anything to enable me" to help be in this world & still appear halfway functional.

I had OCD & anxiety all my life, but one day he decided he decided I was "diseased" and unless I changed instantly he was going to leave me.  

Six months to organize the house was too long..

But the truth was he wanted to leave & go to another state anyways & he knew I didn't want to so he needed a way to for his mind to find it acceptable

And so he created a bunch of lies to tell himself mixed in with the truths so he accept his decision.

I do actually empathize & understand where he was coming from. He had been fired from his other job and he was feeling out of control and feeling helpless & confused and he just wanted to be able to control his environment and have some semblance of control of the people inside it.. And well kiddo and I made that extremely difficult..

Esp bc he had super poor communication. and kiddo and I were the kind of people who didn't tend to take demand very well and didn't tend to accept direction unless we understood the why and didn't tend to be the best mindreaders in the world esp when we were feeling mentally, emotionall, and psychologicay attacked and even physically unsafe at the time.

Now don't get me wrong .. On a normal day that man w as an amazing family man more accepting and tolerant then most.. But his mind was just going through a massive self torture & upheaval at the time bc his identity and life revolved around his ability to work and be the best at his work and be needed and here he was having his whole world turned upside down. 

His solution was to get rid of the old life and start anew.

Leaving everything behind except his most valued musical instruments & some "essential clothing".. Only that which was most dear to him and which he couldn't bear to be parted with.

But what really bothered kiddo was how he had labeled us, most esp how he had 

treated me on his way out.

Like a biohazard waste .  kind of like how I imagine lepers were treated.

But even before that point, I had started an appreciation of that which others would have thrown out but which was still useful.

It was torture watching friends and acquaintances getting divorced left and right bc they thought their spouses were incompetent and they wanted the a newer better model.

And people's disregard for what was broken but still useable appalled me.

I will have to keep writing more later. I am tired now.

1010am Saturday Feb 1 2021

But before I go, I just wanted to add in how even though I loved the trash I also had a deep need for organization & truth be told a certain amount of neatness with everything having Its place.   And the other way I could handle any sort of change to where things were to where their new location was by using photography and videoing of amything to document the before middle and after.

This was probably what bothered my ex the most bc this part waa tedious and not time efficient.

I do not know if this true for all packrat but something I could not handle was anything happening too fast.

Quick sudden rushed pressure -- impatience of any kind 

My bet is that if you understand that most about packrat, that us probably what will help you the most.

An offer to help clean will usually be taken as a threat bc they know you will want to clean faster then they are comfortable with.

So never never offer to help clean

Or maybe you could look at it as 

Never threaten to clean bc that is how it will be perceived as. -- a threat.

You can offer to help be their hands and feet in any task they want done ( do you hear the difference in wording?) 

but not to try to do it your own way or to take over.l (that would be perceived as a threat)

In the end, its a control issue.

And also an acceptance & appreciation issue.

An allowing a person to celebrate who & how they are and appreciating their own order and appreciation and need to feel in control of their own environment.

I Hope this helps some?

This post will probably get changed and reddited over time.

I fear posting blogs about this bc I had a tremendous fear of my ex wanting to hurt us more bc I fear his blaming me for his pain and hurt and his desire to want us to hurt bc of his pain.

I want him to feel compassion for himself and for us.

I want you to feel compassion for your fellow human being.

I want to feel acceptance and tolwrance

And allowance

For your fellow beings & for all lifeforms.

All beings.

All entities 

All forms of conciousness.

Please.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to be born alone.

Even if there is no God,, it is literally impossible to be born alone!!!

And whowver says that you are born alone either is just blindly quoting some inaccurate stupid quote, is completely ignorant to the prescense of the mothers energy, or completely unaware and unappreciative of the mothers prescense..

And in todays world, for many people, thwre is also rhe company of all the doctors and nurses and people nearby awaiting eagerly the birth.

So one doesnt have to die alone either!!!

And if you are a spiritual person or religious person in any sense of the word, it is even more offensive and unappreciative to believe that anyone could possibly ever be alone at ANY point in their life,whether its at the beginning, middle, or end.

Bc you ALWAYS have company with you.  Your own higher self of nothing else.

No single person has only one personality.   If they did, it means they never had any thoughts ..

And even if you dont believe in god or psychology, there is the fact that your body is NOT only made of your own dna but also the millions of dna of all the million of microbiota that make up anpart of your body in your intensitines, on your skin, in your mouth, in your body. 

If you count microbiota, Your body alone is actually composed of millions of other life forms other then your own.
Your body is a whoe ecosystem of life.

Therefore your DNA, your core self is NEVER alone.  You always have rhe company of all the many parts of your ego, your microbiota with its own essenses along with all the energies that have ever crossed paths with you mjxed up and combined with your own energy!!

In fact, spiritually AND physically, it is IMpossible to actually ever feel lonely if you have any sense of awareness whatsoever!

Ok so maybe you might be missing rhe physical touch of another human being or mammal from time to time in your life.  If so, start volunteering!!!

But never never say people are born alone bc that is the biggest lie/myth/falsehood ever created by some ignorant unaware slefish,  selfish unappreciative being!!!

You are never alone..

We are all connected!!!

Just your even have read this just connected us..  or even if you know someone who knows someone who knows someone who read this, we are still connected by these words.

Look for the ways you are connected..
If you live on rhe same planet, connect
by this earth, if you are human, by our human dna.  I challenge you to come up with at least ten different ways you are connected to at least ten different people!!

And then when you are done i challenge you to find ten different families(or nonprofits if you hate people) in need of financial support or encouragement and give each of them a dollar each month.

Need help finding people.
Go to www.patreon.com/KEE to find us

Or find another person on Patreon.
Or Gofundme

If you are on facebook,

make sure you are subscribed to

facebook.com/ideas2explore
And
Facebook.com/ideas2thinkabout
And
Facebook.com/bodylisteningworld

...

Written Sept 15,2020 945am on my old barely working but still ticking samsung s111

You have won the lottery. What is the first thing you are going to do?

I realized the other day that for us the VERY first thing is GET SOME DECENT RECORDING EQUIPMENT! !!
Before doing anything else,  we really wants some special phones that have wil jave the abolity to go 12 hours while on videoing WITHOUT overheating, with the battery still working after 2 hrs being on, with enough storage space to keep it all until we get somewhere where it can all get uploaded and where it is EASILY uploaded up to the cloud.

Do such phones exist? Will you get us three no make that four of them?

Also a bunch of motion sensor camera for the front yard as well.
Why not the back yard.bc we want to be able to walk around in our back yard however we are without being "on camera".. even though we take five billion photos of everything our eyes see, we dont always want to be ON camera ourselves.

Oh i supose i wouldnt have a problem with it --  if our society didnt , but our world is not ok with people  "in the raw".

Why cameras?

Bc what we have learned after working with so many people with memory problems and with just life itself -- is that if life isnt recorded in SOME form or another whether its a photpgrpah,  a painting (think cabe aer i mean cave art), carvings, (think rosetta stone and cuniform) think fossils, think soul samples showing the history of geology or archeology. . Then if it wasnt recorded, ir might as well never have happened.  People need proof. 
True what we record might all still get lost like the ten years worth of journals my mom accidentally destoryed by leaving my voc out in the rain out accidentaly one year many years ago.
Or if an emp happens or if somethibg wipes  it all out.
I do get how fragile life is.
But by making the effort, at least there is a chance something of that moment will get to be trrasured by another.
My ex ddint let us have access to the first ten years of photos and records  of my sons life and he much to my sadness iwonder if he kept any of it :/
And it breaks my heart that he erased any of it
BUT we do have one small video of kiddo when he was three and i treasure that video. That moment and wish we had capturedso many kore to share with the world.

Sigh bc his life..his conversations thos early years was worrh sharing with you.

Alas i dont know if we will ever be able to.

But maybe if we have the recorders on now.. even though we dont do much now worth sharing.. thwre might come a moment and itd be nice to have it ready.. bc we so enjoy sharing our thoughts and the beauty we see in the world with you.

The very next thing to do is make sure a trust get started to make sure our property can be saved and put into a trusr so we can make our dream for the property a reality.

Somewhere in there we make sure to make a faraday cage to protect the electronics that help us to function

and make sure we have the solar powered freezer/fridge/dehrdratpr/cooker/ for ourselves and our friends.

A solar powered cooler for the house.
A foot pedaled wasging machine would be nice as well.

Making sure we have at least a years sypply of toiletries, soaps, basic survava equiomemts that being withoit money and covid has taught us to how umpirtant to have just around the house is.

Get berries and fruit trees planted and greenhouse set up for exotic tropicals and food available for us and nwarby neighbors.

Once we are syre our famiky and friends are functional and secure shoukd anything worse happen

For example, make sure we get food forest with rabbits and chickens established.  And mini homes and storage set up.

Only THEN start paying off all our debts.

After debts are paid off.

Then set up funds so that taxes always get paid.

After that is all set up start paying off familys debts where they owe us instead but at a a MUCH lower almost non existent interest rate.

Then if anything leftover after all that then start investing an alll othe other ideas we want to invest in. :) and 1 are many of those jdeas. :)

531am july 4/5 2020