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Conversation below originally written Sun/Mon OCT 20/21 2019
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>me: "Besides the unknown, is there anything very particular you are afraid of missing out on?"
>Other person: "Yes, specifically I am missing out on travelling. I want to travel alone, and see the world. Obviously not possible with wife and kids. I particularly don't like taking wife and kids on vacation. It turns into a babysitting vacation, rather than an actual vacation. I have managed to "sneak out" two times and went to Manhattan on my own. It was incredible. And what made it even more incredible is that I did everything according to my schedule, not someone elses. Surely, fewer pee stops were done."
>Me: "I am sorry to hear that you found it challenging to relax and be yourself when your family was with you. "
>me: "For years I never fully understood that limitation bc I actually thrived most when our family traveled together. It often seemed the only time my ex used to take time to fully relax and go exploring with kiddo and I. Then again, kiddo and I once used to be pretty big explorers and we would help each oher explore the world. (When he was less then three we just carried a portable toilet seat with us).
But now that my mom is with us, i think both kiddo and i can now maybe relate bc we are now abit more limited in what we can do when she is with us. With my ex, kiddo and I were still mildy limited on occasion but for totally different reasons, BUT if he got annoyed with us, it was much easier for him to just "go on without us " bc he knew we would find our own way home exploring along the way (though I do often wish he would have done it in a nicer way) .. but with mom, well its different now and i imagine its more like what I imagine most parents normally experience with kids, albeit for different reasons.
Btw, just wanted to let you know, it is possible to travel alone even if you have wife and kids.
Even If your wife is very attached to you and gets her enjoyment out of sharing life with you and so therefore wouldnt like you going without her, it is still doable. I suppose you would run the risk of her divorcing you for travelling too much without her if you didnit more then once a year, but really its just a matter of finding alternative ways of getting her needs met.
For example.. if her reason for not like you going off alone is bc she is going to hate not getting to share it with you, you could just video more of it and write her nice long letters describing every intimate details of every person you meet.
OR here is a different example: lets say the reason why she is going to be upset with you going alone is bc she needs you to be around more to help. Then, a possible solution would be to hire the job off to someone who could help when youare not there -- Someone to reassurw her and give her hugs and help out.. kind of like a "rent a dad" or "rent a pseudo husband" though really its more like "rent an assitant" to help your wife so she doesnt notice your being gone on a trip alone without her.
lol, that reminds me how my ex always thought i was joking when i told him that if he ever wanted to leave me could he please find someome to replace him before he left. But in retrospect, I wasnt actually joking. I do often wonder if he had taken me up on that offer, how things might have turned out differently.
People. ALLL people - just want to be able to get ALL their needs met.
As long as you can find a way to get your family's needs met in SOME way or form, thats all that really matters..
There are millions of alternative way/strategies you could get your familys needs met other then just the standard traditional means.
Kiddo and I would be happy to help you brainstorm ideas to help you get yoru families needs met, but in such a way that allows you to also get some of your own desire to travel alone.
We tend to think so outside the box that we often come up wirh solutions that others wouldnt have imagined.
Though i might suggest reading the PET (parent effectiveness training) book by Thomas Gordan first or perhaps one of his other books which discusses the concept of interesting ways of finding WIN/WIN solutions.
And no, not a compromise solution which is actually a lose-lose solution, but sadly its how most of our society is taught how to solve conflicts where both sides give up something..
But with a little extra effort, its possible to go even more beyond that and go past a lose-lose solution to a win- win solution where both your family benefit from your going off traveling alone.
Though if we did end up helping you find a win win solution, maybe you could donate some to our dreams/goals as well.
Btw, if you are interesed in that book, here is a link for it on amazon.
https://bodylisteningstore.com/product-category/conflict-transformation "
>other person (paraohrased): "i worry about missing out on things that i cannot even imagine"
> me: "if you cannot imagine them, then why spend time worrying about missing out on them?"
> me: "of course There are millions of things you are missing out on right this second for misc reasons!.. most of it a blessing that you will never have to know about it."
> me: "When my wx left us, our world basically came to a grinding halt, and the world outside of our home, as we once knew it to be, ceased to exist. And off and on we have had to come to terms with not gtting to have that world anymore. We knew/know >>exactly what we were/are missing out on and everyday there are lots of things we know about that we often feel are too many obstacles in the way to get to do them, so we just find alternative ways of finding happines instead -- but it was amd even is on >>occassion often painful when we feel that sad disapointment when we kmow about things that we want but also know they are not a part of our journey right now... BUT but, at the same time, everyday we wake up and go to bed so completely grateful for >>what we did have and what we were allowed to do and recognizing how incredibly lucky we were."
> me: "Even these days as we struggle to adjust again to some adjustments, its that gratitude for What We Do Have and realizing how Incredibly Lucky We Are Indeed for what We Do Have and for what We DO Get To Do that helps us."
>other person: "That is interesting, and inspiring. Indeed, finding happiness is important and there is no single source of it."
>other person: "I have seen that video of the armless and legless guy before, and it is inspirational. Although, not everyone can put that much effort into, or willing to put that much effort. Working from 7:30 AM to 6 PM leaves very little time to do anything else. Such is life."
> Me: "wow, That is a long workday. Wow. Do you rememeber to take 10 mins throughout the day, here and there, to stretch your arms over your head and check in with your body and just connwct with yourself?"
>Other person following up from another topic: "Well, I thought "Edible garden" was another word for marijuana or something :) Not that I am into marijuana or even tried it. But my mistake :) It is interesting how dedicated you are to the idea of an edible garden."
>
Me: "Some of our goals is to help teach people how to have their own edible oasi, and how to be connected to their space on a deeper level and maybe even teach people how to do more bodylistening to themselves,their space and the world around them. Though right now though as I try to cope with misc other things that fill my time, there are many times when these dreams just seems more like just a beautiful idea which are more just words and ideas then something concrete. Though its always in the back ofy mind of how I want to be able to provide for others and myself."
Originally written
Sun Oct 20, 2019, 8:16 PM
Updated : Oct 21,2019 2:44pm
By the way to readers, if you think you might be interesting in having some bodymind listening sessions or some edible gardening comsultations you can either contact us one of the social media links found on www.krineteagle.com OR through patreon.com/KeE. Thank you.
Originally published on Mon, Oct 21, 2019, 4:52pm
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