human beings

4:24am oct 2017

i dont know what makes me feel more helpless,
when i am around human beings who have thrown away any sense of integrity to get their needs met and have no idea of how disgusting they are being
or
when they "know" are being disgusting but dont think they can act any other way.

i do have a few friends who know that they are that way and perfectly okay with it and even outwardly and inwardly celevrate being that way
but somehow they don't bother me as much as those who either dont know just how much they are hurting the people around them.. (though I supposed most of us don't have much awareness just how much we are hurting people the around us)
but really even more what saddens me are those who think they "have to" be that way to get their needs met.

when they think "they have to be mean" that scares me and leaves me feeling helpless.

4:30am oct 2017

update 5/30/2018
I  have noticed kiddo having many similar thoughts of frustration with how much meanness he sees in people online. 

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